How can I be the best dad and husband today?

Contact two writers by e-mail to set up informational interviews. What are your five actions? List them here. This list is the foundation of your action plan. Now you're ready for the next step: Take Action! Anticipate and Handle Any Obstacles Before you start taking action you'll need to plan for success. She did well on some and not well on others. Which group do you think was especially likely to be influenced in their ratings by Hannah's socioeconomic status--the no-performance group or the performance group? We might expect participants given only class-based schemas to rate Hannah higher if they thought she was upper rather than lower class. However, one would hope that participants provided with objective evidence of Hannah's academic abilities would rely on that information and ignore the class-based schemas. And yet the opposite occurred, as we see in FIGURE 3. The objective evidence increased the bias rather than decrease it. The group that didn't have the opportunity to see Hannah perform estimated her math abilities to be the same regardless of whether she was upper or lower class. They seemed to realize that they didn't have much basis for prejudging her abilities after only seeing her on a playground. However, the group that observed Hannah's performance rated her much better if she was upper rather than lower class. The point is that the participants didn't interpret the so-called objective evidence objectively; Right result (but wrong focus): make a sale. Diet and exercise:

Right action: select a diet plan and stick to it, exercise regularly. Right result (but wrong focus): lose weight. Exercise: identify the right action Look at the goals you want to accomplish in various areas of your life. Identify the right action(s) for each of them. What are the few most effective things you can keep doing repeatedly to help you build momentum over time and eventually achieve your goals? Seek external accountability Human beings are capable of accomplishing incredible feats but can often fail to do so unless they are in the right environment with the correct incentives. This means that you'll need to anticipate and handle any potential obstacles that might get in your way or prevent you from moving forward before they happen. As you look over your actions, ask yourself the following questions: As you consider these questions write the answers in your journal. Then determine the actions you need to take to set yourself up to succeed and add them to the top of your action list. Let's look at an example. Let's imagine that you'd like to redecorate your home to make it a more soul-nurturing environment. You have your action list in place and you're ready to go. When you consider your actions you realize that two of the obstacles you face are a lack of time and fear that you may not have the necessary talent. So, to set yourself up to succeed, you add the following actions to the top of your list: Give up one night of television or socializing and use this time exclusively for this project Schemas Bias Interpretation When rating the math ability of a little girl, participants were not biased by her social class if they had no opportunity to observe her taking an achievement test.

However, those who watched a video of her taking an oral test interpreted her performance more negatively if they believed that she attended a lower-class elementary school. The vertical bar graph plots the rating of math ability or high social class and low social class in observed no performance and observed performance. The y-axis of the graph is represented as rating of math ability beginning from 2 to 5, in increments of 0. The rating of math ability for high social class and low social class in observed no performance is 4 and 3. The rating of math ability for high social class and low social class in observed performance is 4. Biased Information Gathering Schema use can bias how people gather additional information, often in ways that confirm prior beliefs and attitudes. Participants in one study had a brief discussion with a conversation partner who was described to them as being an extravert or an introvert (Snyder & Swann, 1978). Left on their own, many become complacent or start doubting themselves. Why do most people go to their job every day instead of sleeping in and relaxing at home? Because, if they don't, they face negative consequences, such as losing their job and not being able to feed their family. In short, having a job automatically builds strong accountability. You have to go to work because other people rely on you (or because you've signed a contract forcing you to do so). Accountability is one of the most effective ways to stay on track with your goals--it fosters action and helps build momentum. Most of us tend to underperform when nobody expects anything from us. Without a deadline, how many writers would finish their articles? How many students would finish their papers? The truth is, without external pressure, most things in this world would never be completed. Purchase a good article on interior design to see if I have the necessary skills to take on this project When I asked Victoria to consider the potential obstacles that might prevent her from moving forward, she replied: I'm concerned about my husband.

I don't know if he'll agree to the idea of me traveling for work. Also, I'll need to have good child care in place for my teenage daughters. This is important information. It's easy to see how these two potential obstacles would prevent Victoria from ever making the important changes that would honor her values. The support from our closest loved ones is key to our success. In order for Victoria to believe that she could actually consider this change she'd need to add the following two action steps to the top of her list and put two original action steps on hold: Set up a meeting with my husband to discuss my goals and child care issues. Talk to my mom about her availability and desire to help out with the girls. Their job was to assess whether this was true, and they were given a set of questions to choose from to guide their conversation. Participants tended to ask the conversation partner questions that already assumed the hypothesis was true and would lead to answers confirming the hypothesis. For example, a participant wanting to determine whether the partner was an extravert chose to ask questions such as, What kinds of situations do you seek out if you want to meet new people? However, if they wanted to determine whether the partner was an introvert, they chose questions such as, What factors make it hard for you to really open up to people? What's important to note here is that these are leading questions: When answering a question about how she livens up a party, for example, a person is very likely to come across as extraverted, even if she is not; This study shows that people tend to seek evidence that fits the hypothesis they are testing rather than also searching for evidence that might not fit that hypothesis. The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Another vivid testament to the power of schemas is evidence that they not only bias our perceptions of social reality but can also create the social reality that we expect. More specifically, people's initially false expectations can cause the fulfillment of those expectations, a phenomenon that Robert Merton (1948) labeled the self-fulfilling prophecy. To investigate this idea, Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson (1968) administered tests to students in an elementary school in 1964. Therefore, I believe implementing an accountability system is essential for success. Such a system can be formal or informal.

Some examples of accountability systems are: A public commitment to stop smoking, A hard deadline from your boss, A 30-day challenge of any kind, A specific goal you set together with your coach, or Regular meetings with an accountability partner. Now, note that accountability systems can either be imposed on you or created by you. Personally, as someone who likes to be independent, I find it far more effective and enjoyable to create my own accountability systems. By tackling these two actions first Victoria would be increasing her chances of continuing with this process. Otherwise, I can guarantee you that she'd begin to sabotage her success. Too often we neglect to handle the pressing needs that most concern us when we think about moving forward with aligning our lives with our values. By considering her potential obstacles and building them into her action plan, she not only gave herself an edge, she increased her motivation and excitement. Victoria's new action plan looked like this: Set up a meeting with my husband to discuss my goals and child care issues. Talk to my mom about her availability and desire to help out with the girls. Visit library and research jobs that combine language and travel. Read through several travel and food magazines for ideas, and to research articles that might combine them both. Contact two writers by e-mail for informational interviews to explore the idea of freelance writing while traveling. After scoring the tests, they gave the teachers the names of some kids in their class who, according to the Harvard Test of Inflected Acquisition, were on the verge of experiencing a substantial leap forward in their general learning abilities. The teachers were told that these kids were late bloomers who were about to display an intellectual growth spurt.