Are you experiencing any side effects?

For example, when a driver cuts you off in traffic, you see it as a sign that you may need to slow down or not take things so personally, rather than view it as someone doing something to you. Or when you lose your job unexpectedly, you decide to reevaluate the direction of your life's work instead of seeing it as life handing you a raw deal. Of course it's important to allow yourself to experience and express all of the feelings that accompany these types of situations. The point is to move beyond blame and criticism to a more empowering position--one where you recognize that you have the creative power to use any situation to your advantage. For years I've practiced this self-reflective reflex. I've trained myself to take ownership of my creative power by viewing every life experience as an opportunity to grow and learn. When something happens that causes any kind of reaction, I automatically ask myself the following questions: Why have I drawn this experience to me at this time? A useful theory has the following characteristics. Organizes Observations First, a theory should organize the observations, or facts, that come out of the research process. Theories create order out of chaos and simplify the bewildering array of facts we observe in the world around us. Theories provide a more abstract and general way of describing the nature of reality than the complex and sometimes messy observations that theories seek to explain. For example, Steele's stereotype threat theory summarizes and simplifies results from other studies that have shown that members of stigmatized groups perform worse when very few other members of their group are present, when the person administering a test is from a different ethnic group, and when the test is presented as one on which their group tends to perform poorly. This rather disparate set of facts coheres within the broader theory that performance is impaired when conditions make it likely that people will think of a relevant negative stereotype about their group. Generally speaking, the broader the range of observations that a theory can make sense of, the better. Theories that are able to account for a wide variety of observations are said to have conceptual power. Explains Observations And they even enjoy doing that. You can take such people as role models to find a new mindset and use neuro-linguistic programming to positively change and strengthen your way of thinking and attitude.

There are enough people who have had similar experiences and have discarded old thought patterns. They have realized that standing still means certain death and has finally begun to move forward! Of course, certain traits, such as sensitivity to wrong decisions, can be an obstacle and help you develop a certain way of thinking. But according to Dweck you can influence the way of thinking by interactions. By counteracting your negative thoughts and fears, you reduce the pressure, learn new things about yourself, discover previously unknown, hidden abilities, maintain a better relationship with yourself and your environment, and can communicate, openly, and honestly. Changing the mindset is a process that can be achieved with the following suggestions: Open yourself to new things, take on challenges, and practice dealing with defeat. Nothing is eaten as hot as it is cooked. What is this experience trying to teach me? How can I use this situation to make me a better person? My friend Fran learned a lot from asking these questions when she was faced with helping a dying friend to settle her affairs. Fran was afraid of death and knew that this was one of the reasons why she had called this experience into her life. Participating in the end of her friend's life was an extraordinary journey that taught Fran a lot about herself. She no longer saw death as something to fear but something to celebrate. And she came away from the experience stronger, more committed to living a life that honored her most treasured priorities. Awareness in and of itself can be a powerful force for change. By asking yourself the above questions, you automatically put yourself in a position of power--someone who has control over his or her life. Taking ownership of your life and recognizing that your thoughts and intentions directly influence your life experiences is the first step in making a conscious commitment to your spiritual evolution. Theories do much more than simplify and organize knowledge. A good theory also gives us insight into how or why things happen.

To do this effectively, a theory must be conceptually coherent and logically consistent. It should specify clear relationships between variables that help us understand the processes through which particular events in the world occur. To be truly useful, a theory should provide us with understanding that goes beyond what we already know. It should shed new light on what we observe happening within and around us, giving us a sort of aha, now I get it experience. Stereotype threat theory provided an entirely new way of thinking about group differences in academic achievement, and it did so in a coherent and logically consistent way. It is also a relatively simple idea that fits well with our understanding of basic psychological processes. In this sense, stereotype threat theory is highly parsimonious -- it explains a wide range of observations with a relatively small number of basic principles. Einstein's theory of relativity and Darwin's theory of evolution are two of the most parsimonious theories in the history of science in that both explain extremely diverse sets of observations with just a few relatively simple principles. People make mistakes and setbacks are just as much a part of life. If you want to achieve something in life, you have to become active. This includes not only the willingness to learn something new but also to take new, perhaps unknown paths. If something does not work in the chosen way, there are always one or more other options. Be patient and stop limiting yourself through negative beliefs. Strike phrases like I can't do this from your vocabulary. Maybe you are only missing one building block of knowledge about how to accomplish the task. You can acquire this missing piece. Cheer yourself on and use the many possibilities, such as neuro-linguistic programming and reframing. Because with the right attitude, more self-confidence, self-assurance, and self-love, the chances of reaching new shores are excellent. As you work through the program outlined in this article, you'll have an opportunity to continue this work in a deeper way. TURN YOUR VISION INWARD

The key to building the confidence and self-esteem you'll need to lead your life lies in developing a strong relationship with yourself. To do this you must defy society's pull toward preoccupation with what's happening out there by turning your vision inward. We live in a world that constantly pulls us outside of ourselves. There are the sensational news stories, larger than life film characters, nonstop advertisements on television, radio, the Internet, and in the mail. And there are the individual distractions as well--earning a living, raising the kids, company politics, keeping up with the Joneses--you get the picture. We also tend to focus our attention on everything but the present moment. We're either pulled back into the past or forward into the future, never living in the now. The problem with this perspective is that within the present moment lies the opportunity to use our most potent creative power. Provides Direction for Research Third, a good theory should inspire research. It should enable us to deduce clear and novel hypotheses that follow logically from its propositions, hypotheses that in turn lead to research that tells us how well the theory fits with reality. Stereotype threat theory has inspired a great deal of research that has both supported its core propositions and led to refinements in our understanding of how stereotype threat undermines performance (Spencer et al. Many potentially interesting ideas about why people behave the way they do have been discussed over the millennia; But unless a theory produces hypotheses that can be used to assess its fit with reality, it is not scientifically useful. That's not to say that a useful theory must be easy to test, or that it must be testable immediately on its development. Indeed, some of the most influential and important theories in the history of science could not be tested directly for many years after they were proposed. For example, the theory that physical matter is made up of tiny particles moving about in space could not be tested until suitable techniques were developed to enable physicists to assess the nature and movement of atomic particles. An intriguing new theory that seems at first to defy scientific testing often provides the impetus for the development of new technologies that can be used to test the theory's core propositions. Take on the challenges that are presented to you. No matter whether it's the grumbling boss or a difficult task.

Take up the challenge and make the best of it. Don't let your negative thoughts influence you, but paint beautiful, funny pictures in your thoughts. The stress level will decrease and you will feel less fear towards a grumbling boss or a difficult task. Do not make too perfectionist demands on yourself, even if improvements are always possible. The Pareto principle offers a good orientation. So train your skills and expand your knowledge. Learn the right way to deal with defeats and setbacks because they are part of life. For example, neuro-linguistic programming helps you to communicate better and to present your wishes and ideas in a way that is understandable to others. The more we live outside of the present moment, the more attached we become to external results, accomplishments, possessions, or the opinions of others. A commitment to turning your vision inward on a regular basis will train you to look inside for answers. When you do, you'll begin to make the highest spiritual choices for your life. By engaging in activities that draw you closer to yourself, you not only create a strong attachment to your inner world, you learn that you can trust yourself to handle any situation. A solid, positive relationship with yourself is essential. There are no shortcuts, no quick fixes, and no easy antidotes. The journey to self-confidence and courage begins and ends with you. It's so ironic that the very thing we need to do to build a strong foundation of confidence and self-esteem is so simple--we need to spend time with ourselves. Each one of us has our own unique way of developing a stronger connection to our spiritual center. The method may be different, but the goal is the same: You need to spend consistent time in communion with yourself. Generates New Questions Fourth, in addition to inspiring research, a good theory should shed light on phenomena beyond what the theory was originally designed to explain.