You are not in what you are being

STEP 3: Explain how the favor will benefit you. To show myself that saving and having money isn't bad, it's a part of being human. It's a part of what helps me to access freedom that I can then pass on to others. THE SLOWNESS OF REJUVENATING All of 2019, I saw more than ever that I have been finding myself having fun, relishing the slow Wi-Fi of the rural places I travel to, finding solace in slowing down. Slowing down doesn't have to mean going slow, though. I often find myself going at high speeds in my work and my self-care and my worldviews. They are changing fast, and I am moving rapidly. But I can find slowness and I can find silence, even when there is noise. This used to seem so backward to me. A lot of what I have suggested thus far has to do with action, motion, noise, but there is also much to be learned about chosen silence. If you have young kids running around, it may seem like a non-starter to keep the communal spaces of your house decluttered. To help with this, identify at least one area in the house as your niksen space. If you don't have a spare room or shed to retreat to, find a window seat or use a corner of your bedroom and claim it as your own. Make this space as cosy, pleasant and gezellig as possible (see here). Add a comfortable chair, bring some nature inside with a bunch of fresh flowers and turn off your phone. The trick to creating this worry-free zone is to make it your own and not to overload it with unnecessary clutter. This is your sanctuary, where you can safely turn inwards and reflect. Fresh air and sunshine flow through the space, bringing creativity and clarity of mind. Niksen in the Workplace

The possibility that we can be accessible always and everywhere has led to the expectation that we are accessible always and everywhere. This shows your customer just how much he will be able to help. STEP 4: Express gratitude and thanks. Getting Referrals and Recommendations from Customers It's no secret that the best advertising for your business money can't buy. And that, of course, is why it's the best. We're talking about word of mouth. Nothing is more convincing and compelling. TIP: The value of word-of-mouth advertising is one reason why you should regard your current customers as your best customers. Not only are they sources of additional sales, but they can spread to others the good word about you. Establish a mutually productive and profitable relationship with a customer, and chances are he will be happy to recommend and refer your products and services to others. Part of getting to our center is finding our expressive selves, finding when it is time to speak up and to be a much-needed voice in the world of art, injustice, change, and shifting. But there is also power in silence. Power in holding back, in pausing, in caring for ourselves in ways that aren't easily tracked. You see, the thing about getting to center and returning to ourselves is, it's not linear. It's a spiral and it's a circle and it's one of those dot games you used to play in math class where you connect the dots, but it's not always in the order you thought it might be. It's in a new order, and a new future is being built. If you feel like you're going slower than other people, it's because you might be. And thank goodness. I bet those speedy people are going to look at you and wish they could slow down.

Your pace of birth and rebirth and your ever-changing process is only for you to decide. Add to that the fact that more than ever we tend to identify ourselves with our job - which is assumed to be nothing less than our `passion' - and the line between our professional and personal life is truly blurred. All at the expense of time to rest and revive ourselves. We can't clone ourselves or add more hours to the day, but we can be smarter with the resources we have. The magical word here is `boundaries'. Create physical distance between yourself and your office and be firm about what you can and cannot handle. And prioritise niksen to prioritise yourself: the amount of undisturbed time you allocate to it may sometimes be small, but what matters most is that you build and maintain a buffer between your obligations and your time out. The following dos and don'ts will help you create more space between your professional and personal life, and in doing so carve out more opportunities to do nothing. Fill your week to the brim with work commitments. Be selective with the meetings you join: are they really useful for you, or can you join just for the relevant part? Spend more than two hours at your computer without taking a break. After all, he has positive motives for helping you:* Doing so is an opportunity to do you a good turn, which makes the customer feel good and is just good business. YOUR SCRIPT: ASKING A FAVOR OF A CUSTOMER Here is a typical favor-requesting scenario. You call a favorite customer: YOU: Bill, I'm calling to ask you for a favor. Now, we've had such a great working relationship that I've actually looked forward to making this request. Here's what I need: a brief letter of recommendation to the ABC Company to help us secure a major contract with them. Let me tell you what's going on for us. CUSTOMER: Okay.

YOU: We've been asked to bid on supplying ABC with widgets and installation and maintenance services. You have to strengthen your own inner voice to see what is there and what it needs. Talk to yourself, sit in silence, sit in gratitude--this will recharge and restart you. It's scary. Being silent and noticing silence can be one of the loudest things we can experience. But I promise it will recharge you in ways you have yet to see come true. REJUVENATION OF PRAYER Prayer is a way back to ourselves, and prayer is whatever you say prayer is. Prayer feels like another topic or issue that is ours to reclaim. It is for us to redefine and build our own rituals and structures around. For centuries, we have seen people take beautiful histories of rejoicing and prayer and turn them into weapons of hate. Multitask if you don't have to. Be fully present, whether at work, with your children or doing nothing. Take your laptop with you on a weekend getaway, or look at your phone during a lunch or dinner date. Say yes to Friday night drinks with your colleagues if you're tired and would prefer to go home. Nobody will blame you for taking care of yourself. Allow clients to call or text you outside office hours and expect an immediate response. Feel pressured to answer emails within an hour. People will call if there's an emergency. Designate specific times of day for dealing with emails.

Close your mail server at all other times, and set up an automatic `out of office' reply for weekends and holidays. I'm sure you realize that this represents very substantial business for us. A recommendation from you would be absolute dynamite. Really, really valuable. CUSTOMER: I'll be happy to do what I can--but I don't have a lot of time . YOU: You don't need to devote any special time to this. I will ask ABC to call you. When they do, I'd appreciate whatever sell job you can do for us. The points I'd really like to get across to them are these three: First, we give high value. Second, we provide a very high level of first-rate client support. We don't have to do that today, though, just because someone else did. In times of my deepest darkness, I found two ways to bring myself back to my center: calling a trusted friend or mentor who was able to listen and prayer. When I wake up and get on my knees and pray for a good day, it usually works out pretty well. It's not that the day is automatically magical, but I can sort of source back to that moment and do a 360 spin when shit starts to go haywire. I make the decision to kneel in prayer because it was suggested to me once and I took it and it worked. If you're like, Wow, Marlee, what the hell? That seems a little extreme . If your form of prayer or spirituality is getting you through, I hope you keep doing it, and I hope you keep doing it every day. To me, a state of prayerful kneeling keeps me in tune with the floor, which is connected to the ground, which is connected to me.