Saturday, 24 October 2020

Being Thankful for Criticism

That water can lead to growth and to sustain life if it's let out to provide for crops, animals and people. If it stays in the reservoir, it will eventually become stale and evaporate without any benefits. MAKING A DECISION Everything starts with a decision. Everyone makes hundreds of them all day, every day. But not all decisions lead to action. Some fall through the cracks of procrastination and time. This sets the child up for later intimacy issues, so the person keeps other people at a safe distance. This in turn limits how much soothing and calming a person can get from friends and intimate relationships due to interpersonal anxiety. Most anxiety has an interpersonal component, but some is focused on fear of closeness or contact with other people. Attachment problems set a person up for interpersonal anxiety. It's probably clear how this is related to poor self-soothing structures. Without a secure attachment figure to bond with and feel safe with, there's less opportunity to internalize strong self-soothing structures (internal). With intimacy and connection fraught with danger, there's little chance for deep, authentic, close relationships to develop, so the person remains relatively isolated and anxious (external), even if surrounded by lots of people and apparent friends. The ensuing lack of social support creates anxiety. Being either too close or too distant from people creates anxiety. According to the newest models of the psyche, the basic nature of the self is relational. Sometimes too much is too much. As you practice using your new awareness, coping, and tolerating skills and take better care of yourself, in combination with a more optimistic understanding of how people change, you may be surprised at the extent of your resilience. You're not expected to skip around the room singing Que Sera, Sera, but hopefully, your feelings seem more manageable, a sense of calm more accessible, and your life more in your control.

You can begin to have more moments when at least some of the facts of the matter don't bother you as much as they did before, and the limits of what you can stand turn out to be more flexible than you had thought. In theory, you can handle anything. In the real world, everyone has limits--to what they can tolerate and what they can do. Coping does not mean lying to yourself or anyone else about what's okay and how much you can take. Sometimes you can't and shouldn't put up with one more disappointment. Sometimes you need to take time out and collect yourself, for your own sake and no one else's. This article is about knowing what your limits are and what you can do about them, independent of your loved one's behavior--how you react to the stressors in your life, when you're pushed too far, and how to avoid going over the edge. Did I work out? When you do a focused workout at least 5 days a week, you are standing up for your health and making an unwavering decision to inspire your body (and mind and heart) to be the best it can be. Through movement you will find strength, endurance, and balance, and you will feel more beautiful, vibrant, and alive than you ever have. Let's get moving! FIVE THINGS TO PRACTICE You brush your teeth every day to keep them healthy and looking clean and white. Now you will move your body every day so it remains healthy and looking strong and beautiful. It's that simple. Movement simply becomes part of your day. Make your workout about you! Instead of getting bitter ask yourself, What can I do to get a promotion? Accept that these feelings are there and it's okay to have feelings of envy and jealousy every now and then. It's entirely human.

Keep in mind that it is one thing to have these feelings of jealousy and envy while ACTING like a jealous person is a completely different thing. Thoughts of envy don't make you a bad person. It's human. The question is how you choose to behave as a result of it. Love yourself. My improvement started when I read somewhere that jealousy is a sign of low self-confidence and low self-esteem. So, every time I got jealous, I reminded myself that this is a sign of low self-esteem and that I have to work on it. Pisces Mercury/Aquarius Sun: Your mind never stops. You're constantly questioning, commenting, evaluating, and processing. This is what gives people the impression that you're not quite present--that you're distracted or preoccupied with something else. They often assume you're scattered, when in truth you operate on several platforms at once. Pisces Mercury/Pisces Sun: People treat you with the reverence of consulting an oracle. They hang on every turn of phrase or cryptic reference. You'd enjoy dishing out the sage advice if you weren't as mystified yourself. Like them, you're just as eager to see what you'll come up with next. There's so much puffiness at the waist. It's so hard to wear, but it perennially comes back. Front-slit skirt: This style is neither flattering nor practical.

A small side or back slit will make a straight or pencil skirt easier to walk in (and show a sexy flash of leg). But a front slit is awkward when you sit and reveal inches of thigh better left under wraps. THE TAILOR: YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND An excellent tailor can rescue your mistakes, update an old favorite, or tweak almost anything. When things fit you perfectly, they look far more expensive than they are, says Susan Sommers. But expensive things that don't fit you perfectly, don't look good. If you're petite, your tailor has probably been an official member of your fashion posse for years. Others simply fade away because it's not really that important to you or does not impact your life to a point of life or death. So you let it go. People tend to be more diligent and will follow through on a decision when the result flatters their ego and gives them pleasure. Sometimes you need to make a decision that forces you to never go back to your old miserable and suffering life full of failures. The time has arrived for you to make the decision that will impact your life and the lives of your loved ones forever. You have the power to do it and the ability to achieve what you want if you follow the guidelines that follow. Here are some facts about Julius Caesar as he crossed the Rubicon River that highlights the meaning, seriousness, impact and finality of the phrase making a decision. You can look them up on Wikipedia. Julius Caesar was appointed as governor over a region in Gaul (France) by the Roman Senate. When his term as governor ended, the senate ordered Caesar to return to Rome. We grow up and exist in a web of relationships. When these relationships are toxic or absent, the self feels anxious and shaky. From birth to death everyone (repeat EVERYONE!

Creating authentic, positive relationships in your life is job #1. It's essential to be able to be emotionally vulnerable and open with other people you can trust, to find people in your life who love you for who you are rather than a curated image. Receiving genuine emotional support from other people is the oxygen the self needs throughout life. Look no further than our monkey relatives to illustrate this. When a monkey is alone and given a mild electric shock, it shows the classic stress response. But when this same monkey has monkey friends that it knows are nearby and watching, there is a much lower stress response. On the other hand, if there are monkeys who are strangers nearby, the stress response is higher. Knowing Your Limits You can think of your limits as boundaries, personal thresholds, life rules, or expectations (whichever rings true for you) that demarcate your physical and emotional well-being in your interactions with other people. They are the lines between what is acceptable and unacceptable, between what you can and cannot handle. How do you know what you can handle? Limits can be shifty. You might surprise yourself by rising to an occasion you thought would be too much. On the other hand, sometimes your limits will turn out to be closer than they appeared. What you can handle without losing your temper, dissolving into tears, or panicking may fluctuate from day to day. Nonetheless, with awareness, careful self-assessment, and practice, you can learn to see your limits from a safe distance and even use them as guides. Consider the following questions: Turn off the TV, put your phone down (unless it's playing music, of course), and bring your attention to your body and mind. Your workout time is your time--use it to process any hard emotions that you're experiencing and to feel strong and alive. Trade judgment for curiosity and awareness.

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