Farewell to the Linear Life

Things you learn when you have no one to rely upon You will learn that although you can try to explain something to someone, they only understand it when it happens to them. You will begin to realize that at the end of the day, only you can help yourself. It is easier not to talk about things because, then you subconsciously expect it to happen, and you get frustrated when it doesn't happen. You will learn who really cares and who just pretends to care. In difficult times, real friends make themselves known. You will realize that some of your best friends do not know the real you, but only one part of you. These are best for very sensitive skin, very dry skin and mature skin. The Gallinee or Bioactive probiotic cleanser is a good cream cleanser example and the IMAGE Vital C cleanser is another. There are also cleansers to avoid (or at least be mindful of). These include wipes, micellar water and extremely foamy cleansers. By now, you should know that I could write a whole separate article based on my hatred of wipes. Wipes are depended on far too much for ease of time and affordability, yet they are stripping and dehydrating skin. They irritate it even if you don't feel it. They do not clean the skin thoroughly and they are not a good skin-health decision. I used wipes for fourteen days consecutively and the deterioration in my skin was shocking. I had increased my acne by two grades, which is why I created the Cleanse Off Mitt(R) - a reusable, convenient alternative to wipes that is kind to your skin. In other words, they love you when you're happy, but not when you're sad. There are those who would downplay your problems, because they are not life-threatening. You should run away from these people.

You will seek answers rather than the approval of others. This means that you are using your own judgment. You will learn to take responsibility for your own life. You accept the consequences of your failures and do not blame others for your failures. You learn how to fight your own battles because not everyone is on your side. It's hard, but you learn how to accept yourself. It's hard to be alone, and harder still to accept that it's your fault. Skin wipes irritate the skin - they are the fizzy drinks of skin nutrition Micellar water Micellar water from authentic French brands or from brands that truly care about skin health is not so bad, as they often do not contain the fragrances and preservatives that strip skin of its oils, or dehydrate and photosensitise skin (AKA make the skin more sensitive to light). I have been known to call micellar water users glorified wipe users and I believe this is for good reason. Some brands really take the mick with what they consider to be micellar water, to the point that they are essentially liquid wipes. They bulk up their micellar water with drying alcohols, fragrances and harsh preservatives for the purpose of prolonging shelf-life. If you must use it as a pre-cleanser, I approve of Bioderma as it has a lot less alcohol in it (with the pink lid) or Decleor Micellar Water. One of the issues that I see with micellar water is the same as the one I see with wipes. You are just moving dirt, grime and oils around on your skin. Throughout your day, you are walking through polluted air, touching everything and then touching your face and pumping sebum out to help protect your skin - and all of this builds up. You learn not to take things personally and to be strong when you are alone. You will learn to deal with loneliness. You embrace your thoughts, your confusion, and your fears, and in the end, you learn to be fearless.

You learn that everyone in your life has a role to play, and that some roles are more important than others. You will learn that some roles are only temporary. You will learn to be more cautious in future relationships. You are no longer so trusting, and you do not trust easily. You learn to set boundaries for those who do not have your best interest in mind. You will learn that it is often better not to tell people everything about yourself, because you never know how or when they might use it against you. You will realize that you can pick yourself up after a fall, and that you don't have to rely on anyone. If we do not thoroughly remove this build up, we are asking for congested skin (ie blackheads, whiteheads and any other type of spot). The majority of people who use micellar water are not actually using it as a pre-cleansing step, which would be infinitely better, but as their sole mode of cleansing. Just as with wipes, using micellar water leaves you with an incomplete cleanse and leaves a residue on the skin, (that's like a semi-oily film), meaning that any products applied thereafter may not penetrate properly. You need to be double-cleansing in such a way that your first step removes at least the high 90 per cent of your makeup and any oil and grime that has collected on the surface of your skin so that your second step is removing any build-up of dead skin cells and treating the skin however you please, whether it be with acids, with probiotics or with vitamins. Extremely foamy cleansers I'm also wary of overly foamy cleansers where the foam doesn't serve a purpose, as these are unnecessary and often stripping. Foaming cleansers are usually the first cleansers people use in their teenage years and they are packed full of ingredients that make them foam and, usually, nothing else (with the exception of Neostrata and Gallinee and other foams that actually do something). A key culprit for this type of foaming occurring is a surfactant known as sodium lauryl sulphate, a sulphate that is an irritant especially to sensitive skin. It can cause damage to your skin's barrier and leave it dehydrated and gasping for moisture. If you see this ingredient as one of the first listed on the packaging, avoid the product. This is a difficult lesson, but also the most important one. You can survive alone, because some people just want to drag you down. Why are so many people unable to stand behind their actions?

Due to irresponsible behavior, we lose keys, money, jobs, housing, health, and even our lives. Children learn by being given chores, right? Responsibility is a burden easily transferable to God, destiny, luck, or the next door neighbor. Responsibility was defined by the American journalist and satirical writer Ambrose Birrs in Devil's Dictionary printed back in 1911. A century has passed since he penned his definition, but nothing has changed. We still un-shoulder our responsibilities, pointing our finger at external elements that have broken our plans. So, we shift the blame for the delay to traffic jams, we did not continue our education because we had children, and the state is responsible because it does not provide the opportunity for us to move forward. Cleansers that don't truly cleanse or do anything There are some cheap-as-chips cleansers that contain lovely tea tree oil or Vitamin E or other ingredients that can be added to skincare quite cheaply, but there are others that are, essentially, fatty alcohols mixed with trace amounts of vitamins so they can pop it onto the packaging that it is `kind to skin, vitamin enriched and alcohol-free'. I see why some want to just clean their face, but you could be hydrating it with a hydrating cleanser or brightening a bit with a brightening cleanser. Most active cleansers will be procured after a consultation with a skin therapist but there are some active or cosmeceutical ranges available in pharmacies or online such as Neostrata. If you're looking for a specific active ingredient in a cleanser, such as Vitamin C or salicylic acid, check to see how high it is on the ingredient list. The higher it is, the more of it there is in the product. Buy cleansers from brands that are fairly transparent on their packaging and on their websites about what the ingredients do, whether these brands are cosmeceutical or cosmetic. If a brand tells you that their cleanser `softens and evens out skin tone', they could be saying pretty much anything. Google the ingredients thoroughly and you'll probably be able to see if they do what they say they do. Cleansing how-to By definition, coming of age, is the moment when a child becomes an adult, ready to take on the responsibility for their actions. But, in reality, we act on that Voltaire's view that, no snowflake in the avalanche ever feels responsible, and we affirm Virginia Wolf's view that most people feel no responsibility for their actions. Even the corporations have adopted the keyword of our age, insisting on social responsibility, but paradoxically, while we expect it from a colleague, our spouse, our friends, and our children, we find ourselves alone in giving it.

Master psychologist and psychotherapist Danka Djukanovic says that if we belong to a group of overly responsible people, we may endanger our quality of life. But even so, we derive more benefit than harm. Freud used to say that there are many people who do not want freedom, because they fear the responsibility. That describes you, the codependent--fearful of responsibility and its consequences. Djukanovic recalled the scenario we all experienced in childhood, our first broken toy. When asked by our parents, Who did it? You must become independent. Sixty seconds is the ideal time for a thorough cleanse. I opt to wet my hands, pump a two-euro size amount of product into the palm of my hands and then massage upwards (from the nipple up - remember, we treat the neck and decolletage with the same respect that we treat the face). Massage outwards from the nose to support lymphatic drainage and bring down puffiness. We massage this into a pre-cleansed wet face with freshly washed hands. Sixty seconds is a tough and lengthy process for many, but I encourage breathing properly for this golden minute. See it as essential `me time' to calm, centre and cleanse. Breathe in and out calmly and truly take the time to centre and catch up in yourself. Some people over-cleanse, stripping all of the natural oils from the skin while others do not remove the cleanser thoroughly. Be sure to use a mitt, face cloth or muslin cloth to wash off your cleanser. Ensure the water is warm and not hot. That is an absolute priority because independence allows you to push back on your condition more forcefully. This is akin to ripping off a band aid, and it will make your recovery much quicker. What does independence mean for your condition?