Inside Your Control vs Outside Your Control

Sensitizes: Capricorn Suns by making them contemplative. Mystifies: Sagittarius and Aquarius Suns when prizes slip through their fingers. Inspires: Scorpio and Pisces Suns because they won't settle for second best. Deceives: Aries and Libra Suns with hopes of winning approval. Glamorizes: Taurus and Virgo Suns by boosting credibility. Is anyone's guess with: Gemini and Leo Suns by presenting them with no-win situations. Sometimes good because it forces them to think long and hard about their choices, sometimes bad because they feel like they're damned if they do and damned if they don't. Meaning is a powerful stress-reducer. A meaningful life allows the stresses and defeats of life to be put into perspective. When your life has meaning, then daily setbacks are taken in stride and larger upheavals have something to teach or a deeper significance that are sustaining during dark times. It's easy to understand why optimists live longer than pessimists, since a pessimist is continually bracing for the worst and in so doing creates ongoing stress. In contrast, spirituality has been called positive paranoia. Negative paranoia is usually thoughts such as, The universe is out to get me. By contrast, positive paranoia from religion says, The universe (the Divine) is out to enlighten and awaken me, and all these experiences are there to help me along. Such an optimistic attitude makes all the difference in dealing with life's struggles. Later life is a good time to take stock of how well you've aligned your life with your inner values. Older adulthood gives some perspective on life that isn't there when young or middle-aged. You'd take the time to practice giving a speech or a toast, so why not for a discussion where you ask your loved one to change? Have an exit plan. No matter how perfectly you deliver your lines, your loved one might still object.

Planning how you will react if this happens can save the invitation from turning into an argument. If you have a plan for walking away before heavy conflict ensues, you will be in a better position to perhaps adjust your presentation and try again when another window of opportunity opens. Know your own buttons that could be pushed and cause an angry response on your part. The world won't stop turning if you get angry, but it won't help your loved one agree to treatment either. Try to foresee what she might say or do that could set you off and plan how you will walk away, calm yourself down, take a break, or otherwise reorient yourself to the path you want to be on. You get more than one shot if you need it! You will feel more comfortable having an exit plan knowing you will be able to try again. Opposes: Cancer Suns. You see others as father figures. When Neptune is opposite your Sun sign, you don't connect to its energy naturally, and you will always be misled until you do. The best way to engage this energy is to remember that the permission you seek must come from you. It's wonderful to turn to older people for mentorship and guidance, but don't hand over the reins. In the end you're the one who has to live with the decisions you make in life--not them. NEPTUNE IN AQUARIUS (1998-2011/12) It's hard to stand by and watch old rich guys trash civilization as we know it. That's why you show up at rallies, demand social justice, and fight for change. But it's not enough to say you're mad as hell and you're not going to take it anymore. Retirement brings another look at your life's purpose. How does having more time affect your life mission? Are there new areas of meaning that open up with this time?

This is also an area where therapy can be helpful. A meaningful life brings a glow of enthusiasm and joy to tasks that might otherwise be considered mundane or routine. Meaning is a powerful dimension of mental health. Spiritual Community The Hindu sage Ramana Maharshi once said that the easiest way to support your spiritual practice is to hang out with other people who are also on a spiritual path. Every religion stresses the need for spiritual community--a congregation, sangha, satsang, or fellowship. Many people find spiritual community within a tradition, through a local church or temple, meditation center or yoga studio. You can step away when the wrong button gets pushed, or you're just not getting anywhere, and circle back. Take some time to analyze what happened, what didn't work well, what did work well, and how you might modify your discussion (timing, tone, what you forgot to mention, and so on). Be patient, and try again. Here are some examples of what it might look like when you put it all together: Since those layoffs at your job, you seem to be drinking more on the weekends. I totally understand why you would want to forget about work, but you're forgetting about other things too. Your sister was saying she likes her new therapist. Maybe her therapist could recommend someone? Have you noticed we haven't been fighting as much lately? I've been doing some things to help me be in a better mood, and it's gotten me thinking about ways to make things better between us. There needs to be a vision of something better. But whose vision is it? And how do you get everyone on board?

When you're born with Neptune in Aquarius, you have to do more than create a safe space; And that means factoring in the concerns of everybody from every corner of the globe to come up with a design for living. It feels like an impossible dream, but then again our future depends on it. Aquarius Neptune . Sensitizes: Aquarius Suns by making them universalist. Mystifies: Capricorn and Pisces Suns when it gets too theoretical. Inspires: Aries and Sagittarius Suns with a vision of a better world. Other people find it outside a tradition, through groups or classes or informal collection of friends who are unaffiliated with a particular religious tradition. Since the self is relational, other people help to bring forth its own deeper possibilities. Finding a spiritual community of fellow seekers, whether formal or informal, similar or disparate, reinforces your aspiration for a higher life and makes the dry periods more bearable. The Christian tradition emphasizes over and over again the importance of the congregation, the fellowship of seekers. Buddhism speaks of the three Refuges on the path: the Buddha, the Dharma (teaching), and the Sangha. Of these, according to the Buddha, the most important is sangha, or spiritual community. Aside from meeting needs for interpersonal contact and strengthening the self in this way, spiritual community fortifies your sense of purpose and aspiration for a higher life. Community reinforces spiritual practice, and supportive relationships help a weakened brain become more sturdy by increasing neurogenic rates. If you are not in any kind of spiritual community, try to find one (or several). It works on different levels: supporting your spiritual practice; What's hard about this . You can only do what you can do. She might say no or ignore you or otherwise brush you off;

This is just one conversation. You will have another chance. Sharise was a client of ours who felt so empowered by her first session with a CRAFT therapist that she went straight home and announced to her husband that she was taking care of herself, finally, and insisted he get treatment. She told him he was arrogant for not thinking a therapist could help. This turned into a four-day argument. While she had initially felt relieved to get it off her chest, the fight made him more opposed to treatment than before. Sharise worked with her therapist on how to reapproach her husband and suggest treatment in a way that he would be more likely to accept. Deceives: Taurus and Scorpio Suns with unrealistic expectations. Glamorizes: Gemini and Libra Suns by making them persuasive. Is anyone's guess with: Cancer and Virgo Suns because it makes them selfless. Sometimes good because they always give of themselves with no expectation of getting anything in return, sometimes bad because they often get taken advantage of. Opposes: Leo Suns. You see others as wacky. When Neptune is opposite your Sun sign, you don't connect to its energy naturally, and you will always be misled until you do. The best way to engage this energy is to hear what people have to say. Yes, the Universe may choose strange mouthpieces, but they're mouthpieces nonetheless and you'd be wise to listen because there's still some truth to their take on things. Hear them out a few times and it will all begin to make a strange kind of sense. All of these help strengthen cognition. Spiritual Detoxification Most people received so much junk along with the religion they grew up with that they need to detox from it to discover the pure gold of truth mixed with impure, polluted elements.