Obstacles in our way

Most humans believe that love is something that you get, that it is an emotion, that it has to be deserved, and that the more they give away, the less they will have. The opposite is the truth. Lovingness is an attitude that transforms our experience of the world. We become grateful for what we have instead of prideful. Think of all the neuronal activity that goes on inside our poor brains under these circumstances! Many people experience these cognitive demands as noxious, because they dislike dealing with complexity and complications. When things get complicated, they run. Bear in mind I am not talking about people who mentally cannot deal with complexity; I am talking about people who have gotten into the habit of avoiding complexity. For instance, Molly, whom I referred to at the beginning of this article, took one look at the complexity of opening her own little restaurant and gave up. She did this in spite of the fact she had been very capably handling plenty of problems for a long time. If Molly could find no way out of a complication, she faced it and dealt with it like a champ. She was a passive hero, not an active one. She did not seek out challenges, even though she would roll up her sleeves and beat them into submission if they showed up at her door. How do you define success? Write your goals When you identify specific goals for your work--whether around a client, project, or your job in general--you give yourself (and others) direction. You create a purposeful strategy, which guides you toward your target with clarity and focus. You set yourself up for success. First, focus on either one specific project or your work in general.

With that area of focus in mind, list what you want to achieve in the short and long term. Next, referring to that list, choose the three most important goals. Make those goals specific, measurable, and attainable. Finally, organize those three goals in terms of timelines--one to achieve in the next month, one to achieve in six months, and one to achieve by one year from now. We express our lovingness when we acknowledge others and their contributions to life and to our convenience. Love is not an emotion but a way of being and relating to the world. Avoid creating enemies. People fall into the trap of getting even or making constant remarks pushing buttons. They create enemies and animosities. These preclude a peaceful life. Nobody needs enemies. They can retaliate in ways unseen and so bring on unfortunate consequences. There is no such thing as winning a conflict; It serves spiritual progress to always accept responsibility for all that befalls you and avoid the trap of being a victim. How do you deal with complications? Is your first instinct to run away from them? Do you avoid the extra brain effort? Many normal developmental steps in our society require people to make their lives more complicated, and we accept this as the price of admission. These are familiar, socially-sanctioned complications, and so we just forge ahead and tackle them because we see everyone else around us doing it. Getting married, going to college, getting a job, having children, buying a home - all these are huge developmental steps in adult life that by definition make your life more complicated.

Why then do we accept these without a whimper and yet turn pale with fear over pursuing our own dreams? The answer is simple: complications like marriage and childrearing are socially supported activities, even though they look like individual choices. But when we pursue our own dreams and thereby pick a whole new set of problems for ourselves, we might feel the lack of society's back-up. We feel the existential aloneness of being an adult making difficult choices. You can list those goals below. Next month: Six months: What do your goals tell you about what you want from your occupation? How can writing down your goals help you to create a purposeful strategy? What will you do to make each goal a reality? Break down your goals As you learned in yesterday's practice, setting goals can provide clarity and direction. Goal-setting is most effective (and least overwhelming) when you choose goals that are specific and manageable. Writing a 30,000-word article in one month, for instance, seems much more doable when you break it down to 1,000 words per day. From a higher view, there are no victims. Nothing in the world of appearances has the power to cause anything. Choose a benign role and view of life. Harsh viewpoints are not conducive to spiritual growth. Even if they are right or justified, a spiritual seeker cannot afford them. One has to give up the luxury of revenge or enjoying that justice has been done when a supposed murderer is executed.

One cannot violate basic spiritual principles without paying a price. The spiritual seeker sees through the illusion and therefore gives up the role of judge and jury. Nobody goes scot-free, as people indignantly protest. With kinesiology, we can quickly affirm that not one iota is missed by the universe; One Piece at a Time Complications make you work harder. They require more from you. When several problems arrive at once they demand your attention. If you are unfamiliar with complicated situations, you may believe that you are being asked to deal with everything simultaneously. As you know, that is the recipe for feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope. Anyone can get demoralized trying to handle too much at once. This is the reason why most people tend to avoid complications. It feels like they are being asked to do the impossible, like learning to juggle on a moment's notice. Masters of complications never see themselves as doing everything at once. Break down each of the three goals you set yesterday. Moving chronologically, list all necessary tasks, projects, people, etc that will be part of achieving each goal. Use the next article or a separate journal to brainstorm the steps that might be involved in your journey. Next, get organized (and excited! Order your list, assign due dates, highlight priorities, delegate tasks, and color-code if you want to! Do this for each goal, keeping in mind that it's okay to revise as you go--c'est la vie!

MINDFUL TIP : Plug your list items into a task- or project-management app for added organization and accountability. Create three different projects (one per goal) and list your tasks for each one. Then do a once-over to ensure that each item starts with a verb (we're talking about action, people! No kind word goes unnoticed. All is recorded forever in the field of consciousness. Give up guilt. Guilt is an attempt to buy salvation, manipulate God, and purchase forgiveness by suffering. These attitudes stem from the misinterpretation of God as a great punisher. We think we will assuage God's righteous wrath by our pain and penance. There is actually only one appropriate penance for wrongdoing, and that is change. Instead of condemning the negative, choose the positive. To make progress and to change oneself takes more effort than feeling guilty, but it is a more appropriate response. We note from the Map of Consciousness that Guilt is way down at the bottom, whereas God is way up at the top. Therefore, they do not feel overwhelmed and like running away. Instead of focusing on the complexity as a huge, monolithic thing, they chunk it. They break the complexity down into single chunks that they tackle piece by piece. They think in terms of steps and what to pick first. Items are prioritized and they look for the best starting point. What is the first thing they need to do?