Speak up to be heard

My mind is blank but I am 100 percent engaged without much effort. Meditation will give you the same sensation. When you quiet the chatter in your head and focus on the present moment, it heightens your senses. Set aside time every day to be still. Focus on the rhythm of your breathing. Get used to the feeling of your heightened senses and it will be easier to use them when you need to. TRUST YOUR GUT Have you ever been in a situation where you are in a conversation with someone you just met and by all appearances everything seems fine? Ka-zam, ka-pow! I'm guessing that if you're anything like me, or the hundreds of clients I've worked with over the years, then about the only time your mind turns into a cheerleader is when your personal challenges are a long way off: `Yes! I'll start it next year! Let me give you a peek into my world. As I'm writing the first draft of this article, early in the morning on a Saturday, I'm feeling a strong urge to quit. I am not in the mood for this. I am feeling spectacularly unmotivated, and I am sorely tempted right now to stop writing, and go and surf the internet, or answer some emails, or play with my son, or snack on a double-coated chocolate biscuit, or make a cup of tea; My mind keeps saying things like, `This is sooo boring', `I'm not in the mood', `It's too hard', `I'll do it later', `It's so warm and sunny outside, why not go for a lovely walk? Now, what would happen if I were to get hooked by these thoughts? There are two likely outcomes: a) I'd stop writing; When clients aren't literate, you can ask them how they could remember what you've talked about. For example, could they draw a picture?

Could they get someone to read the notes to them? Could they listen to an audio recording? CLINICAL TIPS To motivate clients to read their therapy notes, use the same techniques you'd use for any Action Plan item (article 8), especially linking it to their aspirations, values, and goals. Be sure to ask about obstacles that could get in the way. If they're not sure they'll have enough time, ask them how long they think it will take to read their notes. If they overestimate, you might ask them to read the notes aloud in session while you time them, so they can see that it actually takes a much shorter amount of time (usually 20-60 seconds). USING WORKSHEETS A few good reasons to start writing a journal are: To talk about what's bothering you. To understand a situation or something that happened to you. To think back on why things happened in a certain way. To acknowledge your mistakes and lessons you learned. To rethink and define your personal values. To get to know yourself. To express your gratitude. Not everyone can just pick up a pen and start writing a journal, and some people need a little more inspiration than others, but if you can jot down your name and one single word that describes your day, you're off to a very good start. The important thing is that you open up to yourself, share your feelings, and allow the process to help you transfer the tension from your mind to the articles in your journal. They look normal and they're saying all the right things but for some reason your stomach is tightening. As it gets harder to breathe, you tell yourself, there's nothing to be afraid of.

And because most of us are taught to think instead of feel, you choose to believe that's true and you push that feeling back down to where it came from. For 20 years, I tuned in to The Oprah Winfrey Show. Over and over again, Oprah interviewed people who had unspeakable things happen to them. In almost every case, each one of these people had a moment before the event where they thought, Hmmmm, something isn't right. But instead of tapping into the feeling and accepting it as a warning sign, they rationalized it away saying things like He couldn't possibly do that to me because he loves me or I thought I was imagining it. Your instinct, gut feeling, intuition, hunch, whatever you want to call it, is your built in alarm system. It's your subconscious mind picking up on danger cues without your conscious mind getting in the way. Don't ignore it. As it happens, both of these outcomes have happened to me many times. And sometimes they still do. You see, despite my best intentions, my mind still knows how to hook me. But the good news is, the more I practise, the better I get at unhooking myself, and the freer I am to do what truly matters to me. And that's why I am now writing my third article in under two years. So do you ever get hooked by thoughts a bit like mine? What effect does that have on you? Does it interfere with your performance, or hold you back from doing what you want to do? If so, good; That's what usually happens when people get hooked. The Testing Your Thoughts Worksheet (Figures 15. The worksheets elicit more information than just responding to the lists of Socratic questions in the previous article.

It's not necessary for clients to use these worksheets if thinking about these questions is helpful enough, but many clients find a worksheet organizes their thinking and responses better. The worksheets aren't particularly useful for clients who are relatively low functioning, dislike writing, are unmotivated, or who have a low level of literacy. Remember, thoughts may be 100% true or 0% true or somewhere in the middle. Just because you think something doesn't necessarily mean it's true. When you notice your mood getting worse, or you find yourself engaging in unhelpful behavior, ask yourself the questions on the reverse side of this worksheet and write down the answers. It will probably take about 5-10 minutes. Not all questions apply to all automatic thoughts. If you'd like, you can use the list below to identify cognitive distortions. Reflective journaling is calming, creative, and rewarding. Journaling Practice If you're having trouble thinking about what to write about, start your journal by writing down these prompts and answering them sincerely: What makes you one of a kind? Who means the world to you and why? What do you enjoy doing on your own? How do you unwind when you're tense? Who inspires you and why? List five things that make you smile. List ten things that you're good at. If it turns out to be a false alarm, so be it. It's always better to err on the side of safety.

Another way to stay safe in public is to avoid being attacked. Stay away from danger, don't be an easy target and de-escalate, or diffuse, a potentially dangerous situation. STAY AWAY FROM DANGER Common sense tells us one of the best ways to prevent becoming a victim of an attack is to avoid behavior, people and places that can get us in trouble. For example, stay away from areas known for higher crime rates. Avoid relationships with people who have violent tendencies. Don't use the stairs in the parking garage and don't use the ATM at night. It's important to take these precautions and it's also important to realize there are no set rules for staying safe. Below are some of the more common thoughts that hook us, and pull us away from achieving what we want. Which ones does your mind bait you with? I could easily fill up several more articles with thoughts and beliefs of this nature. Our minds are truly brilliant at coming up with reasons as to why we can't do what really matters to us. Thus, in ACT, we refer to all such thoughts as `reason-giving'. There are many different categories of `reason-giving', but here are the four most common: Obstacles: Our minds point out all those obstacles and difficulties that lie in our paths. Self-judgements: Our minds tell us all those ways in which we we're not up to the task. Comparisons: Our minds compare us unfavourably to others who seem to do it better, have more talent, or have it easier. Predictions: Our minds predict failure, rejection or other unpleasant outcomes. You may find that more than one distortion applies. Spelling, handwriting, and grammar don't count.