Saturday 17 October 2020

Spend time with a colleague who affirms the bright side of things

Maybe it's one within the solar system, he said, but eventually, since our sun has a finite life, we would have to move to a planet around another star and start a civilization there. Ashby now works for a company called Blue Origin, founded by Jeff Bezos, the CEO of Amazon. At Blue Origin, Ashby is collaborating with his colleagues to develop the technology to affordably fly people into space. Their long-term goal is to help get people off the planet in the event that Earth becomes uninhabitable. But in the short run, they want to enable ordinary people to travel safely into space so that those people can experience the Overview Effect and, perhaps, come back changed. Few of us will ever fly in a spaceship. But even here on Earth, we can all experience transcendence by turning to the world around us. Perhaps no one understood that better than John Muir, the nineteenth-century naturalist who championed the national park system and was the first president of the Sierra Club. Muir was born in the seaside town of Dunbar, Scotland. It was there that he first fell in love with the natural world, taking walks as a toddler with his grandfather. I seemed to have given that fear to the fire of love burning within me. It was as if the fear was made into a willing, sacrificial offering to the searing fire of love. Its own baptism by fire. The fire seared again. It was excruciatingly hot and wonderful. I began to appreciate the flammable properties of fear. I consciously and continually gave up all ownership of the physical space within me to this love. In my inner vision, after the fiery heat cleared everything out of my heart space, even the empty vessel that held it dissolved. I served as nothing except for maybe an open space, like a hearth for love within a body. My only desire was to keep that space free of me as a person.

Then, the narcissist will throw it back just with the same violence. The narcissists classify very well as insignificant what detones the victims' anger and manipulate them, they will plunge the victims into the doubt of being exaggerated in their reactions and unfair with the manipulative abuser. Passive aggression is probably one of the most convoluted and fascinating aspects of human relationships. First of all, because when it becomes a normal personality trait it hides an infinity of complex psychological events behind it, but also because it offers multiple nuances capable of inspiring real thrillers and horror stories; The fact of seeing a smile on the face should make us feel relaxed and calm, while the smile of an aggressive passive can instill a deep sense of confusion if not of restlessness. That smile shows a yes that is actually a no, or should mean an I agree, I will do it with a silent phrase that says I don't even know how you could ask me such a thing In the worst case, the smile of the aggressive passive is simply the dark precursor of what a person is thinking of inflicting on others shortly thereafter. Within toxic relationships, passive-aggression can affect both the victim and the abuser. It becomes a dysfunctional way to manage conflicts and repressed violence. Regrettably, the only way to solve this dysfunctional reaction is breaking the relationship. Even so, he should possess the illusion of being a magnanimous leader and should strive to aim for both the love and the fear of his constituents. In other words, it's all about achieving the perfect balance. Martin's fictional world in the Game of Thrones, you'll see Machiavelli as a cross between Lord Varys and Lord Baelish. In the end, Machiavelli wrote his article, Il Principe, believing that a new Prince should and could rule the Italian peninsula in place of the Medicis. More importantly, he wrote about how a new Prince could rise into power and maintain and safeguard that power. It wasn't until 1532, five years after his death, that the manuscript was finally published. In the same year as his death, Rome fell into the hands of mercenary soldiers, just as Niccolo Machiavelli had predicted. How does the world today see Machiavellianism? Today's perception of the word Machiavellianism is tainted. The term Machiavellian has been used to describe unscrupulous politicians who display immoral conduct (including treachery and the sacrifice of the innocents) as though they are not just normal but also necessary in politics.

Once he was old enough to get around on his own, he spent his free time by the shore of the North Sea or in nearby meadows. When his family immigrated to the United States in 1849, the eleven-year-old Muir found another wilderness playground in the Wisconsin farm where they settled. Its birds, insects, squirrels, flowers, and ferns all filled him with wonder. Muir's love of nature deepened as he grew older. He enrolled at the University of Wisconsin when he was in his early twenties and studied botany for the first time. The subject sent him flying to the woods and meadows in wild enthusiasm, as he would later put it. Like everybody else, he wrote, I was always fond of flowers, attracted by their external beauty and purity. Now my eyes were opened to their inner beauty, all alike revealing glorious traces of the thoughts of God, and leading on and on into the infinite cosmos. If those flowers excited him, then the Sierra Nevada mountains of California threw him into an ecstatic frenzy. Muir moved to the Golden State in 1868, and he spent the summer of the following year in what is today Yosemite National Park, where he bounded over rocks and up mountain sides, hung over the edge of terrifying precipices, his face drenched in the spray of waterfalls, waded through meadows deep in lilies, laughed at the exuberant antics of grasshoppers and chipmunks, stroked the bark of towering incense cedars and sugar pines, and slept each night on an aromatic mattress of spruce boughs. I felt something like a spiritual chimney sweep, intentionally clearing and opening all space within me. In every moment, the open space filled immediately and completely with pure love and the fire ensued. Again and again, the intense heat and sensation of physical pain was incredible, and simultaneously, there was the experience of a powerfully overwhelming ecstasy. I opened my eyes. I was everything. Everything was me. I felt like an insignificant speck of everyday salt that had been cast into the ocean and, upon dissolving, found itself to be everywhere in that vastness. Once I was conscious of my sight, I kept doing what the mind said I feared--either by physically challenging the fear or by physically swallowing the essence of the fear into my heart. A fear told me, I am afraid to go to the cafeteria. I might lose this feeling.

It might sound easy, but it doesn't as we all know. We Delay or Postpone Projects and Actions When we are codependents, starting projects or doing things without someone's help is difficult. This pushes us to delay decisions or to avoid initiatives. It could be often one of the biggest limitations when we decide to quit a job. Leaving aside the fact that it is very difficult for us to work as an entrepreneur since it would imply centering ourselves almost exclusively on our own needs as a businessman/woman, even the fact of moving to a new job seems an existential dilemma. Firstly, the dynamic of leaving a job in the codependent's mind sounds like the dynamic of breaking relationships with important people, as we said one of the biggest difficulties in codependency. Secondly, the low self-esteem that we have as codependents pushes us to believe that having won a selection process once must not lead us to win it even a second time, and if we succeed it will certainly be a worse workplace than we have today. This also makes it difficult to achieve independency or to be independent of a partner if our role within relationship involves not working. If looking for a job is considered as a difficult mission to accomplish, looking for a first job could turns into a real impossible mission, especially if when doing so we would visualize ourselves as people who do it alone, sometimes in secret, and facing the risk of being rejected. The Prince obtained its unsavory reputation when readers claimed that it spreads evil suggestions to wannabe tyrants. In Psychology, Machiavellianism is a personality type, which describes a kind of person who is naturally manipulative, calculating and deceitful. We've all experienced lying to get out of a sticky situation. You may have called in sick at work so you could watch a ball game. As a kid, you may have lied to your parents to avoid punishment. The point is that we all have it in us to trick other people to our advantage. At times, you may feel a sense of guilt over a lie. This guilt, however, rarely occurs in Machiavellians. In other words, Machs are people who think it is normal to lie, trick, and even step on other people to reach their goals. Machiavellians are adept at playing mind games.

This nineteenth-century John the Baptist was impressed by the unity and harmony he perceived in nature. When we try to pick out anything by itself, he wrote, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe. Muir's reverence for nature was influenced by Transcendentalism, a philosophical movement that flourished in New England around the time of his birth. One of the seminal works of that movement was Ralph Waldo Emerson's 1836 essay Nature. For Emerson, the beauty we find in nature is a reflection of divine beauty; But most people, Emerson thought, fail to appreciate that splendor. They are too distracted, as his friend Henry David Thoreau lamented, by the tasks of daily living--a problem that was only getting worse with the quickening pace of life occasioned by industrialization and the advent of trains. To the dull mind, wrote Emerson, all nature is leaden. To the illuminated mind the whole world burns and sparkles with light. Muir had such an illuminated mind. So, I took myself physically to the cafeteria. I felt like I was something that seemed very much like nothing: I was open space. It seemed somewhat exceptional that there was no more me; Something existed, yet it was without a separate existence. It was automatically humbling. There was no pride in this. The true love and heat--the Divine, the Beloved--had me completely. I rejoiced. The bonfire flared; I delighted in experiencing everything in every moment.

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