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It might seem that we are protecting ourselves by avoiding negative feelings, but sometimes, trying hard to eliminate something can result in an even stronger attachment. Being Present ACT encourages the persistent non-judgmental link between environmental and psychological events as they happen. Rules for survival: there are no problems, only solutions. Rule #1: `Blame' yourself (aka empower yourself)! Blaming others may be instantly gratifying, it's also utterly useless and very unemancipated. It's like the baby having a tantrum, or the small child nagging. It makes you feel somewhat relieved in the instant. But if the other party doesn't solve your problem you'll remain trapped in a vicious circle of frustration and bitterness. And if they do solve the problem, you may think all is well, but in reality you remain dependent on them. The far better solution is, in every situation that is less than ideal, to think for yourself: What can I do to solve this problem myself, or prevent it in the future? If you take the carton of orange juice from the fridge and start shaking it, and the sticky liquid splashes all over you because the person before you didn't screw on the cap properly, don't go into a tantrum blaming and cursing them, and don't even try to educate them to a higher level of juice carton closing. Simply consider that you can easily check if the carton is correctly closed before you start shaking it. The objective is for us to feel a more straightforward experience so that we increase the flexibility of our behavior and so our actions are more aligned with the values that are important to us. We can achieve this by permitting our behavior to be influenced by our workability, and also through language, to take note and describe events and not to merely judge or predict them. A study conducted by Harvard University reveals that humans spend 50% of their time daydreaming. This is a surprising fact considering the limited time we have. Humans have the ability to detach from the present and think over the past or the future. This is considered as a gift because we can revisit our past and learn from it to improve ourselves. This will allow us to grow as individuals and as a society as we can collectively look after our well-being.

It also allows us to plan for our future. It is a good thing if we can anticipate what could happen in the next few years. Our ability to place ourselves in the possible situation will allow us to think about how we might deal with different circumstances when they happen. This solves the problem from now until eternity, with the added advantage that you're in charge now, instead of at the mercy of their good will and mindfulness (and carton closing skills). Take them and their behavior as a given, and yourself as the variable. That's empowerment. Now there are bigger problems in the world than orange juice splattering over you (although admittedly it might not feel like that when it happens), but the general principle remains the same. Does your job suck? Stop blaming your narcissistic manager, your colleague with the sewer breath or the selfish customers. Start taking them as a given and see what you can do in this wide world full of possibilities. Are people f*ing up the planet? Take them as a given, and see what you can do, with their neurobiological characteristics as a given. Are they shortsighted, selfish, materialistic and indifferent? However, if our daydreaming results in emotional disturbance, it could significantly affect our mental health and steal our happiness. It becomes a burden - a hurdle that we need to overcome. Too much thinking about the past can lead us down the path of regrets or the inability to accept and let things go. It should not be altogether eliminated because it allows us to plan for the future. However, thinking too much of the future can be a bad thing because it could mean that we are not living our lives to the fullest and that we are wasting our time and energy preparing for scenarios that aren't even likely to happen. Daniel Gilbert, a renowned psychologist from Harvard University, explores the psychological immune system that activates during stressful events allowing us to cope. More often than not, these things are not as bad as we had expected them to be.

Overthinking something is proven to be just a waste of time and resources. Another study conducted by Harvard psychologist Dr Matt Killingsworth reveals that humans are far less happy when they are daydreaming. Focusing on worries about the future can easily rob you of the gift of the present. Take that as a given, and see how you should behave within that context. Rule #2: Gratefully receive the fabulous gift of limited choice (and stop wanting to have your cake and eat it). This Universe has certain equilibriums, certain limits you can't just make disappear. Embrace them and redirect your energy elsewhere instead of fretting about them. Limitations are the spice of life. You can't for instance pass your entire days eating pizza and guzzling cola on the couch, and maintain or even less grow a tight six-pack abdomen at the same time. Maybe in some other Universe it's possible, but you don't have access to it. At the very least you'd have to die first. In this universe, you have the fabulous gift of limited choice: either gorge on pizzas and cola, or flaunt the six-pack, it's completely up to you. Forget the `and' option. It can prevent you from actually doing something to improve your situation. Time is important, and while daydreaming is not always a bad thing, spending too much time on it is not a good idea. That time could be spent with family or friends. Spending too much time away from the present is not a good way to experience life. It will take time and effort to teach our minds not to daydream too much, but it is doable. Here are some pointers you can follow: Practice Mindfulness

You don't need to be a monk who is adept at meditation to practice the art of mindfulness. You can practice the simple joy of being conscious and aware by making the effort to eat your breakfast without any form of distraction. Feel the warmth of coffee in your mouth, savor the bittersweet taste and smell the aroma of the wonderful drink. Luckily there are extremely few situations where you have no choice at all. There are always things you can let go off, and instantly new options will appear. Your mind delivers the ultimate freedom. Homo neurotipicus : who they are and how to handle them? Now we've got our foundations in order and have a thorough grasp of the three root causes of our unhappiness, it's time to put on our explorer's gear and grab our binoculars, a pair of tweezers and a notearticle, because we're going on a zoologist's expedition into Homo neurotipicus territory. It's safari time! We're going to describe Homo neurotipicus' quirks and characteristics, its weird habits, its twisted `normality' and extraordinary conformity to the standard. Just like a primatologist needs to know enough about the species they're investigating before being able to safety venture into its cage or natural habitat, and certainly before engaging in interaction with them, we need to become aware of how exactly, and if possible why exactly, our good friends Homo neurotipicus do what they do, don't do what they don't do, think what they think, and say what they say. We neurodivergents are going to share the same, small planet with them for a long time to come, so we'd better get to know them and learn how to efficiently handle our interactions with them, instead of continuing to drown in vicious circles of false expectations, deception, frustration, disappointment, depression, and false hope. Armed with the right knowledge and a good dose of relativism, there's not much that can stop us. Try to use your five senses and focus on what you can gain from the present. Try to do this as regularly as you can, but begin with a simple activity that you regularly do every day. Regain Focus on the Simplicity of Life As soon as you notice that your mind is wandering off again, immediately regain your focus. Get your attention back to something that is simple and monotonous right at the moment. It could be a piece of paper, a paper bill, a cup of coffee, a notearticle, or even just your hand. Try to focus on things that will not trigger any emotion.

The goal is to concentrate all your attention on the item that will bring your awareness back to the present. You can do this each time you find yourself daydreaming until you are ready to naturally move on to what it is you are actually doing. Do New Things Every Day So here we go, to boldly describe Homo neurotipicus like no one has described them before. A word of warning (superiority/inferiority thinkers, you've come to the wrong address! Before we begin the central piece of our journey, let's be very clear on one thing right from the start. I like to make good fun of those irritating neurotypicals. But when I say 'handle neurotypicals' or `deal with neurotypicals,' I don't mean like 'once and for all' in some kind of mobster jargon or mad scientist's dribble (insert creepy, hollow laughter here and a few lightning bolts emanating from a strange contraption). If you're into mass annihilation, dictatorship, tinkering with people's brains or bodies in ways they didn't ask for, or that in any way compromise their physical or mental integrity, or any other practice or idea that would fit nicely in certain German or Italian ideologies that were especially popular in the first half of the 20th century, you have come to the wrong place and you will find no recipes to satisfy your sadistic urges here. The same goes if you're into personal or group superiority of any kind. Read my lips. There's no superior or inferior life or life form of any kind; What this article is about is observing, analyzing and recognizing these differences, taking them into account, fully respecting each and every one of them and their right to exist, and find the best possible way, for everyone involved, to co-exist. Have you realized that when we were kids, the day seems to slowly pass by? This is partly because when we were kids, we were experiencing life for the first time, and processing it all requires our complete attention. It is ideal to focus our attention when we try new things and notice how much of the attention we manage to win over. We have to focus so we can learn how to do something. We generally have to steer ourselves to the present as we learn to do new things. It can be fairly easy to give in to the habit of always looking forward. We usually do so in order to avoid a frustrating result - we want to be prepared for the worst-case scenario, or stay on top of things.