Saturday 24 October 2020

A Calm Mood Brings Good Luck

MERCURY IN LIBRA You have no problem letting the other person do all the talking. If anything, you encourage it. This way they divulge what's going on in their lives while you sit back and size up whether they would make a good partner, client, or ally. A Mercury in Libra has the art of the interview locked down to a science. You know where to smile and nod in all the right places. People often walk away feeling wonderful about their time with you while you walk away with all the information you need to make your decision while revealing little--if anything--about yourself. MIX PRINTS: FOUR SECRETS Yes, you can mix prints, even if they're as different as florals and stripes. Different prints, such as plaids, polka dots, florals, stripes, and houndstooth checks, can be mixed together. But under no circumstances can you mix different animal prints. Just one piece of leopard or zebra or giraffe per outfit, please! You must have a unifying color palette within the prints. To mix the same type of print -- floral with floral, or houndstooth with houndstooth -- they must be of drastically different scales. There must be a solid piece somewhere in your outfit -- T-shirt, shoes, jeans -- to anchor the mixed prints. Fashion designer Isaac Mizrahi's rule: You have to try everything on. Everything with everything. And even when they tell you: No! Your attitude starts to change towards them and you become unfriendly creating a cold atmosphere. The customers experience this negative vibe and go over to your competitors where there is a friendly and warm atmosphere.

One day you call a friend to ask for help, support or advice. During the conversation the person seems unenthusiastic to listen to you and even a bit cool. You think: She is not interested in my situation and does not care about me. I made a fool of myself. You decide right there that you will never trust that person again or share anything with her. Instead of trying to find out if she might also be dealing with problems, you turn away and lose a good friend. When your behavior causes negative reactions, emotions and results and you do nothing about it, you are going to live a mediocre, frustrated life filled with suffering. Marissa was slow to trust that she and her feelings could be accepted in the therapeutic space. Her fears around her mother, her anger and hurt at her mother's rejection and father's absence, her avoidance of anything that risked disapproval, her secret attraction to bad boys as a way her shadow leaked out, all these and more became grist for the mill. Over time, she began to relax. Marissa took small risks at first, then bigger and bigger ones, as she allowed herself to feel and express sides of herself she'd shoved aside to avoid her mother's disapproval. A big step came as she risked conflict with some friends and found she didn't fall apart. She began to see she was an adult now who no longer needed her mother's approval, which she'd probably never get anyway. As she welcomed back long-buried parts of herself, she started to feel more solid, more cohesive. Best of all, her anxiety receded. When she ended therapy, Marissa still felt anxiety on occasion, but it no longer kept her captive in a very small cage of behaviors. She came into herself more and more, and as her self became more whole, her self-confidence expanded as her anxiety diminished. Be present.They discovered that it helped them to help Katie research different treatment options, because it focused their attention on something more constructive than grinding their teeth. The hardest part was stepping back and letting Katie make the decisions, but they had to admit that it was deeply satisfying to see her take responsibility for helping herself--which they would not have seen had they tried to do it for her. They realized that Katie's initiating change wasn't the only positive thing happening.

With perspective, where their daughter had seemed alien to them before, they felt a new sense of connection and compassion. You Have Triggers Too It's both a bio-psycho-social reality and a cliche of addiction that people trying to change substance use or other compulsive behaviors can be triggered to use even though they don't want to. What is not so commonly acknowledged is that your anxiety or anger about your loved one's use can be triggered even when you know he is trying to change. When your own anxiety is triggered beyond your awareness, it is a surefire way to lose perspective and the ability to cope and plan. Lydia's younger brother had problems with crystal meth and in his twenties got treatment for the first time. About six months after leaving rehab, he came to spend a week with Lydia, staying at her apartment in Brooklyn. You can also become an incredible athlete if that's what you are really determined to achieve. I never want a young person to watch someone perform, whether it's at the Olympics or a team championship at your school, and think, I could never do that. By staying connected to your body through regular workouts and continuously practicing what you love to do, you will excel. This doesn't guarantee that you'll make it to Olympic tryouts, but in the attempt to get there, you will push your body and mind to places they have never gone before and reach goals that you have never even thought of setting for yourself. I know this because even though becoming a professional dancer was not a reality for me, my years and years of training in the dance world prepared my body, mind, and heart for the career path I would eventually take. Even if you don't have professional athletic aspirations, making movement a priority throughout your teens and into adulthood will give you a head start to becoming an active adult. Regular exercise will set you up to enjoy using your body for fun, whether you explore mountain climbing, biking, horseback riding, skiing, snowboarding, surfing, or any other physical activity. A TOTAL WORKOUT: BODY AND MIND I approach working out a bit differently than most. I don't believe it's possible to find balance by doing specific exercises like running or pushups that isolate certain parts of the body. It expands exponentially. We underestimate our capacity to bring change because we underestimate the potential of the exponential function. Think for example about the exponential nature of social networks.

It's said that within six degrees of separation we are connected to everyone on this planet. You are much more powerful than you think. Although there are many things in this world that you can't control, there are also things you can control. You will not stop world pollution, but you can walk, go by bike or public transport or separate your trash. You can choose healthier, non-processed food. If you're not happy with the policy of a certain company, you can stop buying their products. Yes, you are only one. Etiquette and protocol are important. Etiquette ensures that everyone be on their best behavior (even if they don't feel like it), and protocol guarantees that things will proceed in an orderly manner. Your ability to deflect attention, graciously accept criticism, and redirect the conversation makes it hard for people to read you. And you wouldn't have it any other way. Libra Mercury/Virgo Sun: You want to do the right thing. Always careful to take the pulse of the room, you rarely stumble or misspeak. But sometimes doing the right thing flies in the face of what's socially acceptable. This is when you must choose between what's correct and what's just. Libra Mercury/Libra Sun: So you can actually get a sense of what looks the rightest wrong. Let's face it, looking a little off is as much work as looking on! Top 25 Clothes That Just Gotta Go

No matter how attached you are to any of these pieces, it's time to part company, because they will date you and make you look OL. Don't even think about keeping them for stay-around-the-house days, as you don't want to be caught in them if the FedEx guy rings your bell. How fast can you get them out of your drawers and closets? Sharon Stone made fashion history the day she paired a Vera Wang skirt with a black Gap T-shirt and wore it to the Oscars -- and told the world that she just threw them together at the last minute! The press she got for being so clever was off the charts. French women have been doing the mix for years. When they wear classy black basics and toss in a fun plastic bracelet that they bought at Monoprix, no one is going to suspect that the bracelet cost 2 euros. After everything you learned so far, do you still experience that you regularly fall back into a negative mindset and attitude? Do you still experience anxiety attacks? Does the depression still try to keep you from getting out of bed and face reality in the morning? Do you still have no hope that something better is coming your way and that the future is as dark as your mood? Are you complaining constantly about even the smallest matters and criticizing everyone about everything? If you still observe this kind of behavior in your life and it makes you feel guilty that you aren't like other successful people, I have good news for you! Actually, it is amazingly liberating news that can be an A-HA! It is knowledge that can free you from the negative way you think about yourself and empower you to break the chains that kept you prisoner in a mediocre life! Ask yourself the following question: Why am I the person that I am? To help you understand where we are heading, you can also ask: Where did the information stored in my subconscious mind, determining my behavior and therefore defining who I am, came from? Daily encounters with others who are angry or snide or insensitive shakes the self of such a person. Having a stranger be cold or unempathic sets off alarm bells. But such interpersonal insults are part of daily life.

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