Does this mesh with my beliefs?

Problem Solving/Goal-Focused Orientation Does the client specify issues to work on or goals to work toward? Does he collaborate with me to solve problems instead of just airing them? If not, then you're well and truly stuck inside the comfort zone. In which case, it may help you to think about it like this: There is no such thing as a pain-free life. But we do have some choice about the type of pain we experience: we can choose the pain of stagnation, or we can choose the pain of growth. If we continue to grow, to expand our comfort zones, to try out new things, to explore new horizons, to turn our lives into daring adventures, then we will experience the pain of growth. The pain of growth includes plenty of fear: fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of making mistakes, fear of wasting time, fear of losing money, fear of reprisal, fear of embarrassment and so on. But we will be feeling that pain in the service of a great adventure: making room for it as we maximise our potential. This pain is accompanied by a sense of vitality, meaning and purpose; The alternative is to choose the pain of stagnation; And that choice comes with huge costs. Personally, I think we really shouldn't call it `the comfort zone', as that makes it sound like a like a cosy cafe or a health and beauty spa, rather than a place that drains our lives away. For most of the history of human evolution, children didn't have toys and instead played with whatever they could find that was lying around. Imagination flourished, while the brain was primed for survival. In that spirit, here is an exercise inspired by a friend, Bernie DeKoven, author, teacher, and creator of whimsical games of all sorts, that gives you a chance to make up a game of play using junk objects that you find lying around. This game can be played with two people, but more is preferable, because its purpose is to inspire teamwork and camaraderie, as well as fun and creativity. The game works as well with participants who don't know one another as it does with those who are familiar to each other. It's most fun when you have enough people to make competing teams--friendly competition adds extra zest to a game. First decide on the game you want to make.

Or do you want to make up a new game? Perhaps you want a ball game, a card game, or a game using marbles, stones, twigs, rubber bands, or chips of wood--or to create a game you are already familiar with using junk? You can play a checkers-like game with almost anything on hand that can be sorted out into two piles: for example, pieces of smooth glass, wood, or paper, half of which are marked in one color and half in another color. Does he fear solving current problems because then he will have to tackle other problems (such as a decision about a relationship or work)? Cognitive Model Does the client understand that Action Plan Have we designed Action Plans around the client's key issues, goals, and values? Does he understand how the Action Plan relates to the work of the therapy session and to his overall values and goals? Does he think about our therapy work throughout the week and complete Action Plans thoroughly? Responding to Dysfunctional Cognitions Identifying and Selecting Key Automatic Thoughts Do we identify the actual words and/or images that go through the client's mind when she is distressed? Here are some better names for it: `the stuck zone', `the stagnant zone', `the zombie zone', `the life half-lived zone', `the missing out zone', `the restricted life zone', `the lost opportunity zone', `the wasted time zone', `the same old shit zone', `the life on hold zone'. But there is no vitality, meaning or purpose; So which sort of pain will you choose? Are you willing to accept your discomfort in order to live a full life? If so, what sensations will you need to make room for in your body, and what words and pictures will you need to make room for in your head? Realistic goals If your goal exceeds your resources, then you have two options.

One option is to put this goal on hold temporarily and set a new goal to find the necessary resources. Thus, if the resource you need is time, then the new goal is to rearrange your schedule: what are you willing to give up or scale back in order to free up time? If the resource you require is physical health, then what can you do to improve it? Then investigate stuff that would be appropriate to play with--junk that is lying around and is not important to anyone. Common objects such as old socks, old shoes, newspaper that can be crushed and balled up, and broom handles make great playthings. You could make sock puppets or use broom handles as bats or hockey sticks to use with balls made out of almost anything that can be packed tightly together or inside a sock or stocking. Next, work together as a team for a predetermined amount of time to construct your game. Finally, with everyone participating, play the junkyard game you have just created. These same principles can be applied to board games, works of communal art, or fantasy designs for future products. They all demonstrate the hilarious joy of interactive creativity and the fun of playing and working together. Play Is a Springboard for Renewal Smart bosses looking to keep their bottom lines up deliberately plan playful environments for their employees, but the value of playfulness is evident in other aspects of life as well. People who incorporate humor and play into their daily lives find that it renews them and all of their relationships in many contexts, including some that come as a surprise. Do we identify the range of her relevant automatic thoughts? Do we select key thoughts to evaluate (ie, the thoughts associated with the most distress or dysfunction)? Responding to Automatic Thoughts and Beliefs Do we identify the client's key cognitions and also evaluate and respond to them? Do I avoid assuming a priori that his cognitions are distorted? Do I use guided discovery and avoid persuasion and challenge? If one line of questioning is ineffective, do I try other ways?

Are some of his automatic thoughts part of a dysfunctional thought process? If so, have I taught him to disengage from the thought and focus on valued action? Having collaboratively formulated an alternative response, do I check to see how much he believes it? If it's money you're lacking, then how can you earn, save or borrow it? If it's social support you need, then your new goal is to build up a social network. And if the issue is a deficit in your skills, then your new goal is to work on developing them. Once you have the necessary resources, you can return to the original goal. The second option is to scale down the goal to fit the resources available: in other words to make it smaller, easier or simpler. Of course, when it comes to making our goals more realistic, we do have to be careful, because our minds are quick to tell us what we're incapable of. If Joe Simpson had fused with his mind's story that he lacked the resources necessary to achieve his goal, he'd have given up and died in that snowy wasteland. So Joe was very smart. His big goal, getting back to base camp, was too overwhelming for him to contemplate seriously; On the other hand, he didn't want to give up on it, as that would have spelled certain death. One of the wonders of childhood is that there is no distinction between work and play. The work of development, of becoming the best you can be, is inspired by creative play. Those who have forgotten how to play can learn a great deal from little children who have, as yet, not forgotten. Jane: The Artist Who Learned from Children's Play Jane was an artist who worked part-time at home making greeting cards. She lived with her husband in a large apartment complex. Across from Jane's apartment lived two bright little sisters--one was two, the other three.

While their mother worked, their grandmother looked after them, but she watched television most of the time, so the girls busied themselves elsewhere. They loved to make paper dolls. One day when Jane's door was open, the sisters noticed that her apartment was full of colorful pencils and paper. Does his distress decrease? If needed, do we try other techniques to reduce his distress? Do we mark relevant cognitions for future work? Maximizing Cognitive Change Do we record the client's new, more functional understandings for her to read as part of her Action Plans? Accomplishing Therapeutic Goals in and across Sessions Identifying Overall and Session-by-Session Objectives Have I appropriately expressed to the client that the objective of treatment is not only to get better but also to learn skills to stay better? Do I help him identify one or more important issues or goals to discuss in each session? Do we devote time to both problem solving and cognitive restructuring? So he scaled it down into a series of much smaller goals - hop to the end of this slope, crawl over to that boulder, and so on - each of which he had the resources to achieve. This is a good basic strategy whenever we think a goal is impossible: break it down into smaller ones. It's like that old joke - Question: `How do you eat an elephant? Of course, `writing a article' is my big goal - but when I haven't yet written so much as a single word, achieving it seems almost impossible. So when I sit down at my desk, my goal is usually `to write for one hour', or perhaps two or three hours. These smaller goals feel much more achievable. Even if I sit at my computer for one hour, and in that time I only write fifty words, and they're all crap, then I've still achieved my goal of writing for an hour.