Give Up Old Mind-Sets

The choice is never random The question should be; Instead, codependents choose to enter into unstable and unsatisfactory love relationships. The reason for this is that codependent persons are usually inconsistent people. They are a jumble of different personality traits. Because of this, they function in conflicting ways. While on one level they make choices based upon reason, on another level, they make choices based upon chemistry, that is, based upon subconscious processes. Hyaluronic acid can hold up to a thousand times its weight in water and it is a humectant (it draws water towards it). When applied topically, it pulls water upwards from the lower layers of the skin, instantly plumping out and hydrating the uppermost layers. This makes it not so ideal for times when your skin is already dehydrated or your skin's barrier function is impaired, as it can just dehydrate the skin further by bringing the moisture right out of the skin. Different forms of hyaluronic acids have different molecular sizes, which means they can get into different depths within the skin depending on what you're looking for. Sodium hyaluronate, the salt of hyaluronic acid, can come in smaller molecular size to pure hyaluronic acid and therefore can get further down into the layers of the skin. For this I turn to Pestle + Mortar Hyaluronic Serum. It is a hydration boost - a slick of moisture. Helps with: The summer months when there is high humidity. Those with dehydrated skin, dry skin, acne-prone skin (hydrates without oiliness or heaviness) - everyone really. Be conscious of: As it's a humectant, it can draw a lack of hydration into the skin, so if you find yourself in very dry conditions (eg winter, aeroplanes, hot desert), avoid use for a while. These subconscious processes, which often come from the adult's inner child, create strong emotions that often overcome the rational method. Either way, the choice of a partner never random, there is always a method. When the methodology is revealed, we learn that it speaks more about the person who chooses than about the person who is selected.

A codependent that consistently chooses a partner who is cold, emotionally distant, and unavailable, makes that choice because their inner child needs a challenge. The codependent is driven by the subconscious logic that suggests that by attracting this type of person, they will affirm their worth. If their previously unreachable and cold partner, becomes warm, accepting, and loving, their subconscious motivation is affirmed. However, having met the challenge, the codependent loses interest, and ends the relationship, moving on to the next challenge. On other hand, if they continue to represent a challenge, the relationship continues as the codependent continues their struggle to obtain warm, accepting, and loving behavior from their partner. At a deeper level, we often find that a person who struggled to receive love and attention in childhood, continues the struggle in his adult life. The pursuit of ideal love Squalane, with an a, is saturated form of squalene, with an e. This means that it is squalene that has been hydrogenated. The hydrogenation process stabilises the squalene and makes it last longer, as squalene `goes off' very quickly. Squalene is a compound found in the skin's sebum. It is one of the most natural skingredients you'll find as it is actually native to the skin. As an oil, it is fabulous for those with dry, dehydrated or mature skin as these are the type of skins that aren't producing a lot of squalene themselves. It is non-comedogenic, meaning it doesn't clog pores, and has antibacterial qualities. One noteworthy thing about squalane is that it takes a while to absorb into the skin. When it is a secondary ingredient in skincare, this slow absorption is negated by the penetrant enhancing ingredients. My favourite squalane product range is Doctor Jart Ceramidin. The subconscious motives of the inner child vary. Codependent individuals choose someone problematic who demands that they constantly help them to solve their problems. Their inner child believes that only when it is beneficial to someone else, do they deserve to think they are worthy to be loved.

This inner child does not know the difference between partner love and parental love. For this reason, they have subconscious expectations of their partner, either to adore them in the way their parents did, or to provide them the parental love they did not receive in childhood. What is the solution for those who move from one unsatisfactory relationship to another, or for those who persist in an unsatisfactory relationship? Step one--stop waiting for the ideal partner who will bring them true love, because change does not come from the outside. Step two--understand your logic in choosing your partner, and from where does it come. Step three--come to an agreement with yourself, that is to say, resolve the conflict between your rational self and the unreasonable inner child. It is crucial that you learn that you deserve to love and be loved. Helps with: Dry skin, dehydrated skin and mature skin. Be conscious of: If you're a vegetarian or vegan make sure the squalane product is plant derived as opposed to animal derived. Vitamin A is the only vitamin that can cause a physical change within the skin and repair DNA damage - can I get an A-men? We believe that Vitamin A is the first building block to skin health and that everyone should be getting it both topically through a serum and internally through supplements - unless you are pregnant or breastfeeding, when it comes to ingestion! I have lectured alongside doctors and nurses who will argue black is white and white is black but they all agree this ingredient is key. There are many forms of Vitamin A in topical skincare: retinoic acid (aka prescription Vitamin A), retinol (which transforms into retinoic acid within the skin) and retinyl palmitate (which is slightly less irritating to the skin and more stable than retinol). There is also beta-carotene, the form of Vitamin A that gives plants and vegetables such as carrots an orange colour and what your parents told you gave you night vision. Our Nerdie choice is usually retinyl palmitate in a progressive product, which means it is introduced slowly and surely, rather than firing a more active form on the skin that can only be used intermittently - it's a lot like starting with small weights at the gym before adding more as you go, rather than going in on day one expecting yourself to lift 20kg without doing yourself harm. This is because its stability and bioavailability means that it is less likely to cause a retinoid response (ie Vitamin A-related skin irritation). Interestingly, if you apply retinol, it converts back into retinyl palmitate first to be absorbed. The heart wants what the heart wants. Your personality is not your only characteristic, is it the only reason the codependent chose you. Keep this in mind--no one knows who you are until you show them, right?

So, at some point, you allowed a codependent person to get to know you better. But as I said, regarding love, there is so much more than personality. Your charisma, your beauty. That person is like everyone else, so when it comes to love and relationships, you must be aware that all relationships are a two-way street. You also choose that person, right? How to speak to a Codependency Breaking the stereotypes My favourite progressive Vitamin A product is Environ AVST. You start with AVST 1 and when your skin is used to that, you go up to AVST 2, etc Helps with: It's a general building block of skin health that everyone needs. Be conscious of: Don't use if you are pregnant (unless you specifically use Environ AVST 1 or 2 which they advise is safe during pregnancy). If you are breastfeeding, only use a topical version but do check before using as only certain doses are allowed. Vitamin C is key, as it's not something we make naturally. Vitamin C has so many fabulous benefits: it can strengthen capillary walls (preventing broken capillaries and diffused redness), it is integral to the skin's synthesis of collagen and it is an antioxidant and so can battle pollution-related damage. It is also a tyrosinase inhibitor, meaning that it stops the enzyme that produces melanin from overproducing it and causing pigmentation problems. This client was concerned with her post-spot redness (aka post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation) and the clarity, radiance and immunity of her skin is now apparent. Her spots are still occurring, although less often and smaller, and she isn't left with as much PIH as a reminder of them. Let's begin with one stereotype. After years of studying codependency, widespread opinion persists that codependent people are on the margins of our society. However, as far back as the fifties, most codependent persons were found to have family, to be employed, and to have friends.

Many could be found in the upper classes and professional fields. A significant number of mentally ill patients have a family member that suffers from a similar condition. Clinical psychologists and psychiatrists believe that codependency's most devastating consequences are felt by their family. Therefore, we need to be aware that codependency is not only an issue for the codependent, but these issues extend to their family, and shapes relationships among its members. Therefore, it must be treated within the family. Why is codependency a family problem? To make this clear, we will start from the beginning--from the very sign of problems in the codependent's family. We advised her to introduce Vitamin C to her routine - by taking supplements and applying the Neostrata Enlighten Illuminating Serum (which contains some Vitamin C). The purest form of Vitamin C is l-ascorbic acid which, unfortunately, is only at its most effective within ten days of exposing it to any air at all but it is highly potent: even with this drop in efficacy, it will still contain higher levels of Vitamin C than many other products! Other forms of Vitamin C in topical products include ascorbyl tetraisopalmitate (oil-soluble so fab at penetrating), magnesium ascorbyl phosphate (water-soluble and highly stable), retinyl ascorbate (a mix of retinoic acid, aka Vitamin A, and ascorbic acid) and tetrahexyldecyl ascorbate (a highly stable form that works well with other forms of Vitamin C). Each form of Vitamin C works best in different formulations, dependent on the other ingredients and what type of product it is. Helps with: Those looking to tackle pigmentation, synthesise more collagen and antioxidise. Particularly good for its anti-ageing qualities. Be conscious of: If you are very congested avoid Vitamin C in its purest form (L-ascorbic acid) as it can irritate congestion-prone skin. Vitamin E is best known as a highly potent antioxidant that can protect the skin from UVA damage. It is lipophilic, meaning it is oil-soluble, and thus can boost the skin's hydration. There are many forms of Vitamin E in skincare but alpha-tocopherol is thought to be the most useful to human skin as it is highly biologically active. The first casualty of codependence is communication between spouses. Namely, when one partner notices their spouse acting strangely, particularly by making accusations designed to control the partner. Due to constant criticism, the codependent avoids conversations, lies, and channel the conversation to other topics, pretending not to understand what is being asked, or quickly ending the conversation.