Thursday, 29 October 2020

I hope for gun control

Clark, we offer a wide variety of widgets. Sometimes I let the voice win. I let it sabotage me back into smallness. Into underearning, impulse spending, not trusting my relationships, and just generally being really mean to myself. SO, WE WORK TIRELESSLY TO CHANGE THIS. AND BY WE, I MEAN ME AND WHATEVER DEMON VERSION OF MARLEE IS TRAPPED IN MY BRAIN AND SPINE THAT HURTS. And by we, I maybe also mean you and me because maybe YOU GET IT or maybe you murdered this voice long ago. I SURE FUCKING HOPE YOU DID. It's just practice. I just have to practice being nice to Marlee today. One day at a time. As you can imagine, sometimes you need to set limits with the people you spend time with when you are recovering from a bipolar episode. In most cases they are trying to help you in your recovery but sometimes the things they do or say are unhelpful. If being around someone is not beneficial to your recovery process you might want to put some distance between you and them. You can always renew your relationship once you are back in control of your faculties. Ruth tells about when she came home from the psychiatric hospital after a bipolar episode: It's enough of a pain when you start second guessing or fearing what your mood might do, but one of the things I struggle with is when the people around me symptom check. If I laugh too loud, I'm quizzed if I'm still taking my meds. People will make remarks if my speech is rapid or tell me I seem restless and accuse me of getting high if I'm a bit more animated than usual. Things People Do That Do Not Aid in Your Recovery

Conveying that they are holier than you, nagging, preaching, or lecturing Let me just ask you a few questions so that we'll find just what you're looking for. Be sure that you have at the ready a list of questions relating to the product you sell. Make it your business to know what buyers of your product are most interested in. In general, avoid talking about price until questions about product features and benefits have been answered. You ask the questions, and the caller responds. After this, you continue: YOU: Great. Now I have a clear picture of what you're looking for. Based on what you've just told me, I suggest that you consider either widget A or widget B. Both will do everything you've just told me you need; Because she's pretty awesome and cool. I just forget. Or, after keeping myself low for so long--it's more comfortable to be there. Quitting drinking nine years ago was hard because being numb and blacked out WAS SO COMFORTABLE. But now being sober is so comfortable. I make lists of THINGS TO DO to not be an asshole to myself, but I think that's part of the problem--I can't act my way out of it. I have to change this one from the inside. I want to get INVESTIGATIVE--OH! I hate myself right now!

I wonder why that is. Asking how you are doing too frequently Watching and observing you all the time Analyzing and picking apart every thought, feeling and action that you have Checking if you are having symptoms too often Trying to make you dependent on them Not respecting your independence Not allowing you to handle situations on your own Make a Battle Plan to Keep From Having Future Episodes The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. The best advice I can offer when you are recovering from a bipolar episode is to make a plan to keep from having future episodes and put the plan into action. Would you like me to tell you more about those additional functions? CALLER: Well, what will they cost me? The caller tries to introduce his own agenda. You don't want to give the impression that you are evading the question, but it is important for the caller to know more about the additional features before additional costs are discussed. If price is mentioned before interest in the additional features is developed, it will be difficult to develop that interest. YOU: Let me quickly review these features in order to give you that information. Now, I think you'll agree that both prices represent excellent value. Both widgets are of the same quality. The difference is in available features.

If you want the additional features, the additional cost is certainly justified. Maybe I'll try a different feeling toward myself now. A PRAYER AND A PLEDGE FOR VULNERABILITY I pledge to be willing to grow, to earn, to be in love, to love, to see, to notice. And I pledge that when I forget to do these things, I will not be an asshole to myself. I will be nice to myself and I will just DO IT: I WILL JUST BE NICE and hopefully this practice will bear endless gifts for us all. And this, this searching, has been one of my most vulnerable states. Not sharing it out loud or in writing form--by the time I am ready to share it I don't feel the vulnerability factor as much. But going through the muck is where I am most vulnerable. When the wound is fresh, when I don't want to look myself in the eye because I have to clean up the mess. Or arrange the mess. As mentioned previously, successful treatment of bipolar disorder depends on diligently following a comprehensive treatment plan including medication, educating yourself about the illness, communicating with your psychiatrist and therapist, having a strong support system, and helping yourself by making healthy lifestyle choices (WebMD, 2020). Once you are feeling better and thinking clearly, recall the events and circumstances leading up to your bipolar episode and identify what you could have done differently to keep the episode from happening. Then follow the instructions in article 3 of this article, or however you prefer, to create a battle plan that includes the lessons you learned from your episode, and the treatment strategies mentioned in the previous paragraph. To achieve the best results, put your plan in writing and take action to further your plan on a daily basis. The good news is that bipolar disorder responds very well to the right medication, therapy, and self-help strategies and skills. Do your best, and then some, to put the episode behind you and focus on your recovery. Rise up from the ashes and emerge stronger than you were before! I know the voices aren't real, but man do they ever come up with some great ideas. Played part of mental patient in movie

One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest But if you're looking for something more basic, which still fits the requirements you mentioned, you might want to spend less, on widget B. Is there anything more that I can tell you about the additional features--or the basic features, for that matter? If there are more questions, handle them. Do not push the caller toward the more expensive product, but do make the additional features and value seem attractive. Once you have responded fully to the caller's requests for information, you have also set up a sale. Why not attempt to close? YOU: May I take your order for widget A or widget B? Maybe you'll get an order. However, if the customer hesitates or simply says that she is not yet ready to order, ask another question: YOU: Is there any more information I could supply to help you make your choice? Put it on the shelf, tidy it up, make sense of it all, Marie Kondo my damn life. VULNERABILITY AND IDENTITY A big part of getting to center for me has been coming face-to-face with my sexuality, the parts of me that were hiding, and accepting the journey it took me to get there. I assumed that being in the closet meant that you had to be miserable and hate having sex with whoever you were dating or married to and that you knew you were in the closet. I think that's a common myth that people even know they are in the closet to begin with. It wasn't until I started dating women that I began to unravel everything that had happened in my past that I had ignored, pushed deep inside me, pushed back into the closet of my awareness. I found a poem I wrote when I was fifteen years old where I talked about a girl I had a crush on in detail, but there had been accusations that I was the ballet lesbian, and in the poem I made sure to say that I was NOT a dyke. Sixteen years later I am glad to report to you that I am indeed a dyke and the accusations were true, but until I found this poem buried in a box of notes at thirty-one years old, I honestly hadn't remembered that happening. And then all of a sudden it came flooding back.

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