Opening the Curtains

Even if you are a very loving person, if your parents had a childhood in which they did not feel loved, they may not be able to accept or benefit from the love you try to give them. As we began to pry Elaine's fingers off her sister's life, she was able to get some perspective and let herself enjoy life more. She learned to curb her dramatically empathic imagination and to remind herself she really had no idea how her sister was experiencing her predicament. After all, her sister was a seasoned veteran of turmoil, whereas Elaine was easily upset by it. People often cannot concentrate because other things distract them, which is why clearing your mind of unimportant things is such a good idea when you try to concentrate. Believe it or not, you will learn to block out noise and manage a wandering mind. It just takes practice because if they try, anybody can do it. Other things that help you concentrating are knowing when to focus on the problem at hand and when to focus on the larger picture. Even when you get interrupted, try to keep up a line of thought. Without having to ask for more directions, aim to follow through on a work. Keep up with a chat, follow all the instructions spoken. The key to mastering the art of concentration is things like these. Here are some tips to strengthen your concentration and self-control: Planning the timetable in advance As more feelings, thought patterns, and belief systems are surrendered, there eventually comes the awareness: I am not the mind either. I am That which witnesses and experiences the mind, emotions, and body. I am consciousness itself. Through inner observation, there is the realization of Something that remains constant and the same, no matter what goes on in the external world or with the body, emotions, or mind. With this awareness comes a state of total freedom. The inner Self has been discovered.

The silent state of Awareness that underlies all movement, activity, sound, feelings, and thoughts is discovered to be a timeless dimension of peace. Once identified with this Awareness, we are no longer susceptible to the effects of the world, the body, or the mind, and with this Awareness come an inner calmness, stillness, and a profound sense of inner peace. We realize that this is what we were always seeking but did not know it, because we had gotten lost in the maze. We had thought we were all the phenomena of our hectic lives--the body and its experiences, the obligations, the jobs, the titles, the activities, the problems, the feelings, and so on. Instead of reflexively jumping whenever her sister called, Elaine began to rely on her own instincts to guide her as to when she should try to help her sister. If Elaine felt tired and resentful, she refused. If she felt rested and generous, she would do what she could. In this way she honored her own need to be generous and responsible, but she no longer gave until it hurt. Elaine no longer believed she was a bad person if she couldn't change her sister's life. A Rule of Thumb If you are a conscientious sort of person, you can be seduced into feeling that maybe if you tried a little harder, in a different way, you would be able to give your loved ones what they so obviously need. But if they rebuff you repeatedly, consider them impossible. It's a rule of thumb: if you continually feel that you can't give a loved one enough, you actually can't. You try and it's not enough. Try not to multitask if you don't have to Declutter your desk as well as your mind, If you need, take breaks. Forgive yourself, and if you screw up, carry ahead. When you do well, reward yourself. Manage your time as well as your energy

Whether you're a businessman, a full-time mom, or a student, if you're going to get stuff done, you need focus and self-control. Fortunately, with a little preparation and concentration, everyone can do this. You have it in you to do this; No discussion of emphasis can be full without explaining what it means to use the word emphasis. But now we realize that we are the timeless space in which the phenomena are happening. We are not the flickering images playing out their drama on the movie screen, but we are the screen itself--a nonjudgmental witness of the unfolding movie of life, with no beginning and no end, infinite in its potential. These progressive realizations of our true nature prepare the ground for the Ultimate Realization of the identity of Consciousness with Divinity Itself at the top of the Map of Consciousness. We will see that the principles for success are essentially the same, whether the endeavor is of a spiritual nature (Self-realization) or a professional one. THE ABC OF SUCCESS IN 10 STEPS The degree to which we have not allowed ourselves to experience the reality of our true Self is represented by our resentment toward those who have actually done so. We resent their aliveness in the areas in which we feel disabled. When we come from an energy field below 200 on the Map of Consciousness, we dislike, criticize, and devalue that which calibrates higher. The small self seeks fame and fortune by undermining others. Here's a story that demonstrates this negative tendency: Therefore, it is not. And not because you can't give, but because they can't receive. Prove this to your satisfaction, then back off and stop trying to make them into something they are not. Your loyalty does not require that you perform the impossible. The Pain Container Loyalty doesn't mean that you have to metabolize the pain of others.

No one is helped when you internalize others' suffering. Mark was a client who had to learn this truth the hard way. Mark's Story Mark had suffered through this kind of dilemma for years. Simply put, the focus is on having specific objectives and priorities and dedicating your job or personal life to reaching those goals and objectives. At all times, you have to make the right decisions, and each decision you make needs to be in relation to your priorities and goals. These days, life is noisy, hectic, and busy, which is why so many people are now having difficulty concentrating. Ask yourself why concentration is necessary, then consider ways in which your concentration can be enhanced. To this all-important question, here are a few other answers: When you focus on a certain task, the brain helps you to concentrate on it alone. Better concentration means improved productivity and less stress. The right way to focus means that your subconscious will do the hard work for you Focusing lets you get jobs done more easily and with fewer errors. When you are more concentrated, you can think a lot better. A man walks along the beach and comes upon a fisherman with a pail full of crabs. He says to the fisherman, You'd better put a cover on that pail or the crabs will get out. Well, no, said the wise old fisherman. There is no need for that. You see, as one crab crawls up the side of the pail to get out, the other crabs reach up and grab him and pull him back down. So there's no need for a cover.

As we become freer and happier, we will see that the nature of the world is like that pail of crabs, and then we will seek to transcend the negative entrainment by embracing an inner attitude and lifestyle that acknowledges the greatness in ourselves and others. True success does not come by attacking a so-called enemy but by nurturing success in ourselves and everyone around us. The tragic careers of many individuals of genius after being discovered and celebrated by the public illustrates that there is success, and then there is Success. The former frequently jeopardizes life, while the latter enhances it. He was his mother's confidant, literally listening for hours to her criticisms of his father and the betrayals she had suffered. Mark was a bright and mature ten-year-old when his parents developed problems. When his mother started talking to him about her unhappiness, Mark naturally thought he was being asked to help, to give comfort or advice perhaps. Yet he discovered that whenever he said anything, his mother seemed irritated and almost annoyed that he was interrupting. Whether sitting in the kitchen or going for long drives in the car, Mark tried to help his mother solve her problems, but his suggestions were always discounted. Mark soon learned to keep his emotional distance from his mother, in order to tolerate these episodes. When he grew up, this self-protective distancing carried over into his adult intimate relationships, which he was careful not to let develop past a certain point. When his girlfriends became too needy, or seemed to intrude upon his space, Mark became irrationally infuriated with them for what he saw as their horrid dependency. When he came to see me for therapy, Mark was beginning to think he was a damaged soul incapable of sustaining a relationship with anyone. His worst fear was that he was basically incapable of love. You don't need to let a busy lifestyle deter you from concentrating on what you have to do. If you're a teacher, a writer, or a retailer, if you hope to achieve something, the focus is important in your life. It simply doesn't make sense to be unfocused because everybody is happier, more productive, and enjoys greater well-being once they learn how to focus correctly. Now that we have known some most popular reasons for poor concentration, let's look at some specific changes which you can make to enhance your ability to remain sharp and concentrated. Get sleep enough. The single essential step for improving your ability to focus can be to ensure that you get enough (as well as restful) sleep.