Preventing Physical Disease with Zen Medicine

Evie's husband was trying to stop drinking by checking in with his addiction psychiatrist a couple times a month while he powered through long days at his all-consuming job. Evie took care of their three kids and cooked everything from scratch while she tried to run a small business. When her husband wasn't relapsing, Evie was pretty happy with the fullness of their life. When he decided to drink for a weekend, she was devastated. She knew her husband and their household were doing better on the whole, but she was always ready to snap, and snap she did when she found out he had been drinking. As she educated herself on how people make behavioral changes, she came to understand that lapses were a likely part of the process for her husband. So, she decided to focus on minimizing the effects of his lapses on her, so that she wouldn't break. Information sharing got me at first, but the role of teams seems even tougher. That's the part that always makes managers doubt the whole process, Sandy replied. When the confusion and dissatisfaction stage sets in, it must seem so out of control, Marvin said in a pained tone. Sandy asked. Because if you are going to be held accountable, you want to be in control. But the reality is that if you're going to empower people, you have to give up control and still remain accountable. Very scary for a manager. Especially when the organization gets to this stage of confusion and lack of leadership regarding next steps. The training sounds like it helps, said Marvin. Just knowing that dissatisfaction is a natural, predictable stage of group development probably puts things in perspective. So then, it's time to do the following: Write into your journal again. Now is the time for reflecting on your day.

What did you do great? What could you have done even better? Plan your day ahead. What are the most important things you want to get done tomorrow? Make a to-do list for the next day. Visualize your ideal day. Read some inspirational blogs, articles, or articles of a article. It's a good thing you're a natural coach. You know from firsthand experience that love is a work in progress. VENUS IN TAURUS You love slipping into something more comfortable. Other people might trot out thongs and bustiers, but with you it's likely going to be T-shirts and boxers. Who wants to play dress-up in the bedroom? You have to do enough of that at work. You want a relaxed private life and someone who's going to be just as laid-back as you are. Venus is in domicile in Taurus, which means that when it comes to beauty and the beholder, you are always beauty and the other person is always the beholder. You want people to want you. If you want the feeling of this trendy shape, try a straight-leg jean. The slim silhouette will make your legs look long and lean. The straight-leg style is like the skinny, just not quite so legging-like.

The right fabric: Jeans with just a touch of stretch will hug your curves and move with your body without pulling or tugging. But they shouldn't be so stretchy that they could be mistaken for leggings. The ideal proportion is 2 or 3 percent Lycra spandex and 97 or 98 percent cotton -- just enough stretch to make you comfortable, but not enough that anyone but you will know. If the percentage of stretch is higher than 3 percent, the jeans will be too tight (the dreaded sausage feeling). Jeans with no stretch aren't as comfortable, especially when you're sitting down. They're also more likely to gap at the waist or sag after a few hours. The right pockets: It may not seem that complicated to put together a pair of jeans, but their design has become a science all its own. Live and realize your own dream. Other people often want you to pursue dreams and goals they never reached. But, if it is forced on you and not backed by a strong reason and burning desire from within yourself, you will lack the power and emotional drive to reach it. It will also never give you the joy and fulfillment you really want. It is actually a recipe for failure and a reason why many people quit. Write it down Having a clear idea of what your goal is, you need to write it down on paper or a white board or anywhere else you can see it daily. Perhaps you have heard of the saying: If it's not on paper, it is vapor. If you do not have it written down to read and say it out loud every day, it will fade away and before long you won't remember it anymore. Write it on a piece of paper and put it in your wallet. Facing these infinite possibilities is overwhelming and scary, often to the point of paralysis and escaping into diversions. In the face of freedom's endless possibilities, a person must choose what to do, what direction to go. But this means choosing not to do other things, choosing not to go in other directions.

The necessity of choice means that choosing one thing entails choosing not doing everything else. But saying no to everything else is hard, since we want many things and fear missing out in choosing one. FOMO (fear of missing out) is really a form of existential anxiety. But as the saying goes, You can't have your cake and eat it, too. You need to choose, and choosing means not choosing all the other possibilities. Even not choosing is a choice. There is no escaping the necessity of choosing, and this produces anxiety. She served leftovers more often. Her husband helped by getting up with the kids one morning each weekend. She made a point of taking five quiet, uninterrupted minutes each day to just breathe. She trained her nine-year-old daughter to ask her how she was doing as they drove home from school--not that Evie would unload everything on her daughter, but because it helped to remind her to ask the question to herself. Paying more attention to her own limits and reactions, she noticed that not only did she keep her temper in check on more occasions, but when she did lose it, she was able to get her equilibrium back more quickly than she used to. Living life always at the edge of your breaking point is like a game of Jenga. The players take turns pulling out blocks one by one from the tower of blocks, hoping at each turn that this will not be the block that makes the whole thing collapse. We try to help families dealing with substance problems stack the blocks of their lives differently, so that a single block does not make the difference between a standing tower and a pile of rubble. The elements of self-care in this part--awareness, acceptance, distress tolerance, rest, nourishment, exercise, getting help when you are physically or psychologically ill, and setting limits--are the materials for a stable foundation and earthquake-proof building. Stability doesn't depend on nothing going wrong. That's why I required the training, Sandy said. I had tried before to empower people but didn't know the inevitability or severity of the dissatisfaction stage. When confusion and disillusionment began to occur, I was as scared as anyone.

I was afraid I'd created a monster that none of us would be able to control. I wanted to head for the hills and abdicate. But you didn't, obviously. No, but I've seen a lot of managers do just that, and empowerment often goes by the wayside. How did you hang in there? Naive enthusiasm, probably, she laughed. I kept reminding myself and everyone else that people really did want to be empowered, and it could make a performance difference in our organization. Listen to music that inspires you. I highly recommend that you NOT WATCH THE NEWS or MOVIES as this might agitate you before you go to sleep. This is because when you are falling asleep, you are highly receptive to suggestions. That's why it's a lot more beneficial to listen or watch positive material. The planning ahead of your day and the list of things to do can bring you immense advantages and time-saving. The things you have to do will already be in your subconscious plus you will get to work very focused the next day if you already know what your priorities are. Millions of people all over the world suffer from low self-esteem. You're not alone. I hope this article has helped you to understand that you are enough! Know you can do it, know what you are good at, and know you can make it happen. You're not bothered by possessive types. If anything, they make you feel valued. You know you will always be their top priority and that you'll never be kept waiting, told to fetch something yourself, or mistaken for a potted fern.