Sleeping on the job: the power of the nap

If so, you can ask what this new cognition means about them if you want to get to the negative core belief about the self. Core Beliefs Expressed as Automatic Thoughts A client may actually articulate a belief as an automatic thought, especially when depressed. PAULINE: What went through your mind when you realized you got a late fee because you had forgotten to pay the bill? LENNY: I can't do anything right. CLINICAL TIPS When clients have difficulty identifying their negative core beliefs, these techniques may help. You can hypothesize about a belief and ask the client to reflect on its validity: They traded house keys, and a short while later he was gone. Stephanie was in shock. She sobbed and wailed; For months after he left, Stephanie had trouble sleeping. She slept fitfully, had bad dreams, and dragged herself out of bed each morning to go to work. She played computer games, tried to read, and sometimes called night-owl friends. Even though friends listened and offered sympathy and suggestions, she began to feel guilty for troubling them and foolish for sounding like a broken record: How could this happen? What went wrong? Why did I not see this coming? What do I do now? If you're going to attack that treadmill with all your pent-up frustration, pretty soon you'll find yourself checked into the nearest medical emergency clinic with an injured knee. Stress management has been an integral part of my life and my job.

As a lifestyle coach, I get all kinds of people from all walks of life, desperately imploring me for magical solutions to simplify their overworked, hassled lives. They look to me for guidance and I try to help them, whether it is through exercise, yoga, breathing or other tricks that I have developed over time. So, in my first article, I decided to deal with stress, that rampant-yet-most-underrated lifestyle menace. What matters the most with stress, as you will learn in the course of reading this article, is how you train your mind and body to tackle each situation. Throughout my own stressful situations and ordeals, I've always managed to stay sane, and in this article, I will share with you my secrets to overcome stress. So, if any of this sounds like a description of you and your state of mind, then do turn the article. It's time to calm down--and hopefully this article will help you do it. And now I can finally say: I'm not stressed. Likewise, there are no such people as `winners', `champions' and `successes'. Rather there are human beings who, just like you and me, sometimes win or are very successful in certain areas of their lives. Tiger Woods provides a good example. For years he was idolised as a champion amongst champions: not only the world's top golfer, but the first athlete in history to earn more than a billion dollars. However, in November 2009, `juicy' revelations about Tiger's long list of extramarital sexual partners dominated news headlines around the world. Thus, in terms of playing golf, he was highly successful; At this point, your mind may start protesting: `Yes, but others succeed more than I do,' or `I fail a lot more than others do. I had to make this point to Michael, the businessman I mentioned earlier. Here's how the conversation went. Michael: But it's true. ELSIE, in a bunch of situations you seem to think, `People won't want to be with me' or `What if I say the wrong thing? Or you can present them with the list of core beliefs on article 33.

PAULINE: ELSIE, what did it mean to you when you realized the whole day had gone by and you hadn't gotten much done? What did that say about you? ELSIE: I'm not sure. I was just so upset. PAULINE: Could you look at this list of core beliefs and tell me whether any of the words capture how you were feeling about yourself? CLINICAL TIPS The problematic situation itself is not always a good guide to what clients' core beliefs are. For example, a client is frustrated by her inability to get others to listen to her. She lost her appetite and lost weight. Well, she tried to joke with herself, that's one benefit! But she knew she would rather have the weight back--along with the guy. She wondered how much longer this pain would last and could not imagine ever trusting a man again. She was embarrassed to face the people in the office and became withdrawn and erratic in her work. For the first time in her life, she received a negative performance evaluation. What Went Wrong When It Seemed So Right? What happened? How did a seemingly successful relationship fall apart so suddenly? What kind of person was Steven to behave so thoughtlessly, and is it possible that Stephanie really did not see this coming? And you don't have to be either. LENNY Panday

Twitter:@LENNYpanday I have divided the article into two parts. Part One helps you to understand stress: what it means, how to find out if you are stressed, understanding the causes and learning about the effects on your body. Stress really does more damage to your body than you could ever imagine. Through the course of my research, even I was startled by how deep the effects ran. Every organ, every cell, every fibre in your being gets victimized when you let stress in. There are many causes of stress, but there's no doubt that all of them treat your body the way drunk rock stars treat fancy hotel rooms. In Part One, I've investigated the causes, and examined the effects. I am a loser! Russ: Michael, I am never going to get into a debate with you about whether your thoughts are true or not. I just want you to consider the situation. Your mind keeps calling you a loser, right? Michael: Only about ten thousand times a day. Russ: And I have to be honest with you; I don't know any way to stop your mind from doing that. This is what minds do. They are quick to judge us and criticise us. Michael: Well, in my case it's justified. Although her distress occurs only in interpersonal situations, she doesn't believe she is unlovable; Another client feels like a worthless human being, not because he cannot achieve or be useful (helpless beliefs) and not related to his relationships (which otherwise could have indicated an unlovable belief).

He believes he is a bad, immoral person, a sinner (which is in the worthless category) because of his highly negative innate qualities. IDENTIFYING MALADAPTIVE INTERMEDIATE BELIEFS In article 3, we discussed three categories of intermediate beliefs: assumptions, attitudes, and rules. There are several techniques you can use to identify them. Recognizing when intermediate beliefs are expressed as automatic thoughts. Directly eliciting an intermediate belief. Reviewing a belief questionnaire. Recognizing When Intermediate Beliefs Are Expressed as Automatic Thoughts It would be easy to pass judgment on either of them, to write him off as a jerk or assume she had been too pushy and drove him away. But instead, let's look at these very human persons from the perspective of communication that succeeds or fails to connect us to others. Steven was the youngest of three children, the son of Debra, a loving, somewhat older mother, and a father who loved his children but was forced to work out of state when his job was downsized. The timing couldn't have been worse. Debra was in the late stages of her pregnancy with Steven, and her husband's absence made her depressed. To make matters worse, Debra's mother, who had been ill for some time, died of cancer the year after Steven was born. Although grieving the loss of her mother, Debra did her best to take good care of all three children. She threw birthday parties and attended parent conferences, and yet she was distracted by her own pain and loneliness. While she cared for her baby and met his physical needs adequately enough, Debra was emotionally inattentive. She rarely played with Steven and seemed to sleepwalk through the early months of his life. It is a crash course before we get to Part Two, where I will teach you how to keep stress at bay. Part One introduces you to this rapidly spreading lifestyle syndrome and prepares you to appreciate the importance of managing your stress levels.