The same kind of strategy of layering the bad news message of criticism between positive, affirming introductory and closing statements should serve as a core framework for managers engaging in performance criticism. Again, the rule is NEVER to begin to address a mistake or performance problem with a critical remark. Rather than viewing your body as a static biological machine, begin to think of it as a field of energy and intelligence, constantly renewing itself. To grow younger you must change your perception of the body, relinquishing the idea that it is a bag of flesh and bones. Begin to experience your body as the flow of vital energy, transformation, and intelligence, and you will experience the reversal of aging. Even though the body appears to be material, it is not. In the deeper reality, your body is a field of energy, The Body of Energy, Transformation, and Intelligence Everything we have said to this point can be summarized in one sentence: By cultivating the habit of thinking of your body as a field of energy, transformation, and intelligence, you will begin to experience it as a flexible, dynamic bundle of consciousness, rather than as a fixed, material thing. You will realize its wavelike nature instead of its particlelike nature. One way of doing this is through the use of daily rituals that reinforce this new interpretation. Your body is a field of energy, at one with the energy of the cosmos, inexhaustible and constantly in motion. It's being pumped somewhere specific and the clue is in the phrase used to describe this mode you're in: `fight or flight'. Your heart is pumping your blood as fast as it can to your arms and legs, so that you can fight, if need be, or run (take flight) from the threat. It's the body's life-saving mechanism and, in many situations, it can actually be life-saving . However, when giving birth it's not terribly helpful; The blood, which is full of lovely and very vital oxygen, is being redirected away from the uterus and sent to the arms and legs. Now your limbs might at this point become super strong, fully charged with copious amounts of oxygen, but it's not these you need to birth a baby! Your uterus, which is still trying to do its job, is now being deprived of the oxygen it requires to be able to work at full capacity and is beginning to struggle and slow. If you recall the exercise we did earlier with the fist clenching, that same thing is now happening with your uterus muscles.
The blood supply and oxygen levels have been reduced and now the uterus muscles are feeling the effects. Just like when your hand was elevated in the air, the muscles of the uterus will become more painful and slow down, making each surge (contraction) less effective. From the moment we're born, we find ways to express what we feel. Babies babble, laugh, cry, and instinctively manage to communicate to the rest of us. As we grow, we learn new ways to express ourselves, some complex, others quite simple. Ironically, as innate as our desire for self-expression is, we often edit ourselves--we hold back, we censor our thoughts and desires. It's not that we don't want to connect and communicate; Living Skillfully will put you back in touch with what you feel and what you want to say, ultimately helping you to discover your own special, unique gifts for doing just that. Living Skillfully recognizes and celebrates the many amazingly innovative and imaginative ways we express who we are and what matters most to us. If you are already Living Skillfully, let this article reaffirm and validate your individuality and your desire for creative self-expression. Let it expose you to exciting new ways to deepen and broaden your involvement in life and communicate what's in your heart. Even if you haven't yet found your creative outlet--or didn't realize that you lacked one-- Living Skillfully will reach out to you, too. The opening statement is ALWAYS positive about the person. It could be a comment on the good job he or she did on another recent project, how well he or she handled a recent situation, and so forth. It can also be a general statement about the employee's value to the team. In considering how to perform a performance criticism using the Sandwich Technique, you will need to be prepared to open with some type of genuinely positive and affirming statement. The more genuine and the more shared the viewpoint inherent in the positive statement, the better. When the bad news recipient finds this positive statement credible and affirming, the desired effect is elicited: less defensiveness, less anxiety, and more openness to the interaction. It may take some creativity, but there is ALWAYS something positive that a manager can say about an employee's capabilities. In our Case Example of the hypothetical senior marketing executive who found numerous errors in a final proposal she reviewed, her positive statement might be something such as:
Preparing this proposal obviously involved a lot of good hard work. Then the performance issue is raised: The Ayurvedic term for this energetic aspect of life is Prana (pra'-na), which is sometimes translated as the breath of life. Likewise, your body is ever in transformation, always and eternally in dynamic relationship with the elements and forces of the universe. This is known in Ayurveda as Tejas (te''-jas), the internal fire of transformation. Finally, your body is the physical manifestation of universal intelligence, which is supreme, divine, and immortal. The Ayurvedic word for this is Ojas (o''-jas), the infinitely flexible, fluid expression of the physical body. To reverse the aging process, begin using the words energy, transformation,and intelligence as reinforcements to experience your body as it really is--a field of inexhaustible energy, in constant transformation, and as a physical expression of pure intelligence. If you prefer, you can use the Ayurvedic terms Prana, Tejas, and Ojas as mantras to anchor your new interpretation. As you begin to experience your body in its true form, your beliefs about it will also change, and your new beliefs will create your new biology. EXERCISE--YOUR BODY OF LIGHT Look at the picture below. This means that your labour will become longer as progress (dilation) will slow. Another unhelpful, but relatively obvious-when-we-thinkabout-it thing that happens when adrenaline is released, is that it inhibits the production of oxytocin. It's not possible to simultaneously feel relaxed and happy and fearful and panicked. Imagine for a moment that you are at home, lying on the sofa watching something funny on TV and then suddenly you hear a loud crash upstairs. What happens? You don't slowly transition from feeling relaxed to becoming alarmed; You are immediately on high alert, your heart pounding and your body flooded with adrenaline. Moving from one state to another can happen incredibly quickly and anything can set us off.
It doesn't even have to be a trigger as explicit as a loud crash. It could be an evocative smell that reminds you of a time when you felt scared or distressed. Folks who steer clear of Living Skillfully have usually been intimidated, made to doubt themselves by that noisy, little inner critic that says, I can't do it right or What will people think? I run into this emotional hurdle all the time in the people I meet. The other day I was in the airport, my bag filled with art supplies for a TV show taping. The security guards flagged my bag and a woman attendant asked if she could open it. Sure thing, I said, and she proceeded to remove beaded ceramic plaques, handmade articles, ribbons, and hand-painted cards from the bag, until she uncovered the needle-nose pliers buried at the bottom. I always wanted to take up beading, she said. In fact, I even bought the beads and a article. But I was afraid to try it. What scared you? Oh, I was just afraid that I wouldn't do it right. I do need to understand, though, how the proposal ended up with all the errors it had in it when it was given to me for final review. Walk me through who was part of the process of writing, compiling, and editing this proposal, and how much time was spent in organizing and reviewing it. This can lead to a discussion of the performance problem and ways to correct it in the future. Before closing the discussion, a positive affirming stroke should be shared: This discussion was extremely helpful. Your ideas and judgment are very good. It sounds like we are on the same article. Let's make the changes that need to be made to this proposal, so that we get it out on time.
And then let's meet with the whole team soon to discuss the changes we've discussed, to improve our system of proposal quality checks in the future. In raising concerns about a specific incident, mistake or performance flaw, consider these fundamental techniques:3 Picture A is the conventional view of the human body as a modern physician might envision it. This picture reflects how, on a subconscious level, you perceive your body at this moment. Although this perception is accurate at the gross level, it is an incomplete representation of the true nature of your body. Therefore, it is not the way you should envision your body. Now look at picture B, a good representation of how your body really is at a quantum level: a field of energy, transformation, and intelligence. This is how the ancient Vedic seers saw it. They referred to it as the subtle body. This subtle or quantum mechanical body is inextricably woven into, and is one with, the energy and intelligence fields of the cosmos. Look once again at picture B. Now close your eyes and see if you can clearly visualize it. It could be a snippet of conversation you overhear between a midwife and a doctor about another patient. It could be recalling something you saw on the news or read about, or a traumatic birth story someone once told you. Any of these things could trigger the release of adrenaline, which then immediately inhibits your oxytocin - your feel-good factor. A reduction in oxytocin will result in your surges becoming less effective (since oxytocin is fuelling them) and dilation will slow down, again making your labour longer and increasing the risk of/need for intervention. You can now understand why some women might experience long labours, describing it as being very painful and not reflecting very fondly on their birth experience. The more adrenaline you have in your body through feeling frightened, the longer and more painful your labour will be. You're a lot more likely to require intervention to help speed things up and pain relief to cope. Your baby is also more likely to experience distress as he or she tires due to the longer labour, and also due to the reduction in blood flow and oxygen.