Wednesday, 21 October 2020

What can I accomplish today?

The next step is to examine our actions in terms of `workability' : to assess whether what we are doing is working to help us create the lives we want. And we want to do this as non-judgementally as possible. Judging ourselves or our performance as `pathetic', `appalling', `incompetent' or `useless' will not help us learn and grow; Do I feel angrier than the situation warrants? Flight response: Is my foot on the brake? Am I spacing out? Do I feel in a daze? Freeze response: Is my foot on both the gas and the brake? Do I feel frozen, paralyzed, and agitated? Do I feel threatened? Do I expect to be punished, hurt, or humiliated in some way? Do I feel out of control? Do I feel unable to effectively state my case or defend myself? A typical conclusion is that the dysfunctional belief was not true, or certainly, not completely true, and that the younger self was vulnerable and deserved protection and good treatment. The client may also agree to begin talking to herself in a more compassionate manner (in the way her older self talked to her younger self) as part of her Action Plan. Critical Thinking is understood as the process of evaluating and choosing, through reasoning and will, a certain option in the midst of a universe of possibilities, with the purpose of solving a specific situation, whether it is the personal field, vocational, family, social, labor, economic, institutional or business, among others. To that extent, the decision-making process must be distinguished from routine everyday choices, such as preferences for the attire of the day, the lunch menu, etc, which do not necessarily imply a process of rational scrutiny. Decision-making involves the evaluation of a series of conditions and variables of a scenario, against which it is necessary to choose an intervention strategy by the subject involved, be it an individual or a collective (companies, institutions, communities). Therefore, it is a very complex process. WHAT IS THE CRITICAL THINKING?

We can read that the man arrived at the Moon or that he never succeeded, observe the report of the results of a scientific experiment or we can watch on television what we believe can be a mass demonstration. We can believe in it or not do it, taking into account that what comes to us from the media, what we read, what they tell us . Today we have to be able to doubt everything, reflecting and evaluating what we perceive and / or what communicates to us. We can't stop our minds from generating all those harsh judgements and criticisms - that's one of the many things they like to do - but we can repeatedly unhook ourselves and let those thoughts come and go like passing cars. To develop your ability for self-reflection, get into the habit of asking yourself three simple questions: What did I do that worked? What did I do that didn't work? What could I do differently next time around? Mindfulness and self-reflection can only get us so far. For maximal self-awareness we need feedback from others. But we don't want any old feedback; This is why every top athlete has a coach. Honesty is vitally important. When you answer yes to any of these questions, take a time-out until you feel less stressed. Something as simple as taking several slow, deep breaths or lightly tapping your head with your fingertips can restore balance if you are agitated. In addition, you can use the understanding and practices in article 3 and article 4 to immediately calm and focus yourself. By reducing stress, you not only diminish apprehension but also become more aware of your feelings and needs. Janette: The Woman Who Was Afraid to Confront Her Mother Janette was the mother of a ten-month-old son and a three-year-old daughter when she was first diagnosed with breast cancer.

Determined to do everything she could to prolong her life, she went into psychotherapy, because she suspected that stress played a role in her illness. In spite of her close and supportive relationships with her husband, close friends, and family, Janette often found herself upset and angry. As Janette explored her relationships in greater detail, her therapist noticed a shift taking place whenever Janette talked about her mother, Grace. That is why we can ask ourselves about the ability to perform this screening. What is critical thinking and how to develop it? Critical Thinking: Defining the Concept Critical thinking is the capacity manifested by the human being to analyze and evaluate the existing information regarding a subject or given, trying to clarify the veracity of said information and reach a justified idea about it, ignoring possible external biases. We apply critical thinking to try to discern the reality of what they tell us and perceive from the analysis of the reasoning used to explain it. In a manner analogous to what Descartes proposed, it is about doubting the information, dogmas and absolute axioms that surround us until we ourselves can give them truthfulness or otherwise ignore them. With this, we seek to have a justified idea of ? This type of thinking, linked to skepticism, helps the human being to create his own identity, appearing throughout development and being especially visible in adolescence and from it. It is not about bringing the opposite to the world, but about being able to elaborate our own point of view based on the verification and contrast of data. What is intended with critical thinking is to eliminate fallacies and biases that compromise the objectivity of the investigated data. If the feedback we get is exaggeratedly positive or exaggeratedly negative, it's not much use. I'm sure you know these two cliches from articles, movies or TV: there's the tyrannical executive, surrounded by yes-men who tell him every decision he makes is absolutely wonderful; These situations really do exist - they have become cliches because they are so common in the workplace - and they are recipes for disaster. We need honest, non-judgemental feedback from people we can trust about what is working, what is not working, and what can be done differently. And we want it from people who are competent to give it: people who have enough skills, information and experience to know what they are talking about. So if we are aiming to improve in our chosen field - creative, sporting, business, parenting, social or other - it is advisable to find trustworthy and competent mentors, coaches or advisors; This can be confronting or painful, but if it is delivered honestly, respectfully, compassionately and non-judgementally, it is invaluable.

We can also look for what's useful in `unsolicited feedback'. In other words, when someone abuses, insults or judges us, it's worth looking to see if there's a grain of truth in their words. For example, over the years, quite a few people have called me arrogant (especially my wife). Janette described the relationship as very supportive, especially now, as she underwent chemotherapy. She appreciated her mother's help with the children and household chores. Janette spoke lovingly of Grace, but as she talked, her body language and breathing changed: her jaw stiffened, her shoulders lifted, the tone of her voice became higher, and her breathing became shallow. Observing these changes, the therapist asked Janette to stop for a moment and take a few deep breaths before continuing. Then the therapist asked Janette to describe what she was feeling when she talked about her mother. Janette answered in a surprised tone of voice, I guess I feel tense. What do you feel emotionally? Maybe a little angry. But why should I be angry with my mother? I don't know, her therapist answered, but few people have no flaws whatsoever. Critical thinking is closely related to other capabilities such as creativity, logic or intuition, allowing us to develop new strategies and ways of seeing and perceiving things. Having a good capacity for critical thinking helps us avoid conformism and move forward as human beings, avoiding that there is only one way of seeing the world. Why is critical thinking important? Having critical thinking can change the whole dynamics of the workplace. We can analyze, for example, that personal problems among employees often affect their earnings and the well-being of teams. When people have the critical thinking, that doesn't happen: Nobody lets work get mixed up with their personal lives, and everyone tries to maintain the friendliness to get projects going as planned. Critical thinking also has great advantages for leaders and bosses because they often find themselves having to resolve problems and conflicts between employees.

It is undeniable that in such situations leaders can agree with one of the parties involved. However, impartiality is essential to maintain a firm position at such times. Critical thinking distances personal opinions and focuses only on facts and rationality. I used to deny it, discount it, or counter-attack with a criticism about the other person (I won't tell you what I called my wife). These days, I usually respond differently (alas, not always); I tend to pause, notice and reflect, considering whether there is something valid in the criticism; And if the criticism is valid, I consider: what's working, what's not working, and what could I do differently? Finally I (often, but not always) respond mindfully, acting on my values - which usually means apologising for my arrogance and expressing myself more respectfully. SELF-AWARENESS AND SELF-DOUBT Self-awareness plays a particularly important role in overcoming self-doubt. Suppose Radio Triple F is constantly broadcasting our flaws - `I'm incompetent', `I'm boring', `I'm uncoordinated', `I'm a lousy player', `I'm not cut out for this job', `I'm so unoriginal', `I'm a fraud', `No-one likes me', `I've got no talent', `I can't tell jokes' and so on; This is a particularly important question when it comes to social confidence. As I mentioned in article 10, most people with significant social anxiety do not lack social skills. By taking time to make sure she was relaxed, Janette could identify her troubled feelings about her relationship with her mother: I'm a grown woman with two children of my own, and I don't want to be told how to manage my marriage, my children, and my household. Janette decided that to rid herself of the burden of stress caused by her mother's intrusiveness, she had to tell her mother how she felt and ask for some changes in their relationship. But the prospect of doing this terrified her. Janette was certain that what she had to say would upset her mother--someone she not only loved but very much needed at this time in her life. So she used the relaxation techniques she practiced in therapy before having a discussion with her mom. As a result, those techniques helped her stay connected to her feelings and her need for a different kind of relationship. Pausing frequently to make sure she wasn't tightening up, Janette fully explained to her mother how she felt.

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