Saturday, 24 October 2020

Creating a compelling vision

What looks like cheating may actually be a talent for working the system. You could benefit by taking a article from their playarticle. JUPITER IN CANCER You are blessed with abundance. Even if it doesn't look like a lot to others, it's more than enough for you. It's like that Roman myth where in a town of closed doors, it's the elderly couple with the least to offer who open their home to Jupiter disguised as a beggar. They haven't much fruit and they haven't much wine, but somehow the bowl never empties and the cups refill themselves. The clinical literature as well as research literature has supported this as one aspect of depression. Cognitive therapy deals with the mental level of this negative self-talk, but depth therapy deals with the underlying emotional dynamics. Good results have been reported in the literature in working therapeutically by getting the person to express outwardly the anger that is currently turned back against the self. It takes an emotionally attuned and accepting therapist to bring forth and encourage expression of these forbidden feelings. Since these feelings tend to be unconscious, it may take some time to work through the defenses against these forbidden impulses. In the accepting, exploratory atmosphere of psychotherapy, these inner barriers give way in the light of awareness. When the anger finds its appropriate target and can be expressed (not necessarily to the person but in the therapist's office) and released, and any deeper feelings of loss felt, the depression dissipates. Jack didn't feel anything when his father died. Instead he felt kind of numb and just continued on with his life. But after several months he realized he was depressed. Reinforcing constructive, non-substance-related behavior is the core strategy of CRAFT. You can choose to respond to your loved one's positive, nonusing behaviors in a way that will increase the likelihood of these behaviors reoccurring. At the same time, you can choose how to respond to his negative behaviors, including but not limited to substance use, in a way that reinforces it or not.

The two most powerful things you can do to help promote change are: Reward your loved one for positive behavior. Ignore or withdraw a reward for negative behavior. Remember Ivan and Lucy from the previous article? Lucy's father had a serious alcohol problem when she was growing up, and her husband, Ivan, was raised in a culture of heavy drinking. When Ivan kept his drinking to two or three drinks, Lucy made a point of being warm and affectionate toward him. She had identified the behavior she wanted and defined it in specific, measurable terms. Eventually, the couple realizes that they are in the presence of a god. You may have noticed that a similar thing happens to you in your life when money for an unexpected emergency materializes out of nowhere or someone you barely know comes through in your hour of need. That's because Jupiter is exalted in Cancer. It's because you won't think twice about taking someone in and offering them a place at your table that the good you do will always circle back and sustain you. Jupiter, the planet of sanctuaries, smiles on those who provide a safe space--whether it's a shoulder to lean on or shelter from the storm. Cancer Jupiter . Enriches: Cancer Suns through real estate and property. Misses the boat with: Gemini and Leo Suns by making them complacent. This leads them to assume everything's in the bag when it may not be. Benefits: Taurus and Virgo Suns by making them shrewd investors. At the beginning of therapy he was mystified as to why he could be depressed since there was so much good about his life. In raising the issue of his father's death and his apparent lack of feelings, it soon came out that Jack had a great deal of suppressed anger toward his father. Over several months he was encouraged to feel and express his anger toward his dad, in fantasy, in words, and sometimes through hitting pillows.

At some point as his anger surged forth, the classic grief reaction came, and he wept with abandon at his father's passing. When he allowed his mourning its due and let himself feel his sadness and loss, his depression soon lifted. He missed his father, acknowledged feeling angry toward him, but in spite of this he realized how much he'd gotten from his dad and found a new level of love and appreciation for him. This freed up his blocked energies so they flow into life once again. Depression as an ungrieved loss or losses The classic example of this is when a six-year-old child's mother dies but the family barely acknowledges the loss. After a quick funeral, the father keeps on working, relatives may help out and the family returns to normal, leaving no space for grieving or dealing with the child's immense loss. She stopped paying so much attention to what she didn't want--how his voice got louder and his jokes less funny after three drinks, which she had often called being an idiot--and focused on what she wanted and how to encourage it. Asking for the behavior she wanted with her new positive communication skills was one approach to her goal. In another, complementary, strategy she reinforced the behavior she wanted from her husband when he did it. She picked out two things that he found rewarding (her affection and attention), and made sure to give them to him when it counted--when he stopped after two or three drinks. Sometimes she made the link between his behavior and her response explicit, but more often it didn't need saying; In time, Ivan understood that when he drank less he felt closer to his wife. She laughed at his jokes and he loved making her laugh. He knew when they went to bed at the same time that they were more likely to have sex--and the sex was better when they had been enjoying each other's company and he didn't have as much alcohol affecting his body. While he liked drinking, he liked these times with his wife more. The balance shifted in his mind, and he changed the way he behaved. Squares off against: Aries and Libra Suns by making their eyes bigger than their stomachs. Blesses: Scorpio and Pisces with creativity and artistic inspiration. Is anyone's guess with: Sagittarius and Aquarius Suns because it keeps them close to home.

Sometimes this is good because both signs enjoy raising big broods, but sometimes it's not because it keeps them from spreading their wings. Opposes: Capricorn Suns. You see others as blessed. When Jupiter is opposite your Sun sign, you don't connect to its energy naturally, which means that you will always find yourself at a disadvantage until you do. The best way to tap into your fortune is to do something for someone else. You can intercede on their behalf, make resources available, or mentor them. Jupiter is the planet of paying it forward. Later on, when this person reaches their twenties or thirties, depression sets in. The therapeutic task is clear: Deal with the original loss. Here again, due to the decades of denial and family repression, the person often doesn't realize the strong effect this early death had. In the emotionally warm and accepting environment of therapy, the frozen affects surrounding this profound, early loss can begin to thaw. Although the inner child part of the person may have been shut away for decades, it is really not so far away, often just beneath the surface. Sometimes simply having permission to feel what was not allowed earlier is enough to elicit the buried feelings of sadness and grief, loss, devastation, fear, and even shame around feeling such things. This illustrates the difference between grief and depression, which has gotten obscured in the recent DSM. The wisdom of sadness shows us we've lost something vital to the self--a relationship, an unfulfilled need, a cherished goal. Feeling the sadness and mourning this loss is essential to move on. When this grieving doesn't happen consciously and in the open, it operates behind the scenes and pulls the person down from inside. What's hard about this . Some people don't want to think of themselves as a trainer of someone they love. If you have doubts about the virtue and authenticity of a behavioral approach, consider how Lucy and Ivan experienced it.

Lucy's gratitude and warmth when her husband didn't drink too much were genuine; Ivan's change of priorities, heartfelt. Being deliberate doesn't mean you're scheming. There's plenty of evidence that a behavioral perspective is one of the most respectful, hopeful, even playful perspectives you can have, since it takes a fundamentally collaborative, nonjudgmental approach to learning and change. Reinforcement is happening between people every second, consciously or unconsciously, planned or unplanned, with more and less positive results. We are social creatures and we influence each other in every interaction we have, whether we mean to or not, and whether or not we succeed in the ways we meant to. When Lucy called her husband of ten years an idiot, she was hoping to discourage the idiotic behavior. Do a good turn for somebody else and you won't be left out in the cold. JUPITER IN LEO For some people it's being in the right place at the right time. For others it's reaping the rewards after years of hard work. But for you? It's you being you. Your fortune smiles when you're true to who you are. And that's a tall order because those qualities that make you stand out are often the same qualities that make you stand apart, which doesn't always rub people the right way. And this is where you must have faith in yourself if you're going to make the leap to where you want to be. You need audacity to dare, pride to jump high, and a glorious sense of entitlement that knows you were meant for great things. As the original loss or losses are felt, the person moves on and can lay down the heavy burden carried for years. There is no longer any reason for the depression after this early wounding heals. Depression as a result of chronic stress and anxiety

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