Music at work

This indicates that one should leave that question alone or inquire carefully into the reason for the no. Perhaps the questioner might have experienced psychological distress from the answer or its implications at that time, or for other unknown reasons. In this study, test subjects were asked to focus on a specified thought, feeling, attitude, memory, relationship, or life circumstance. The test was frequently done in large groups of people; It was like a code of honor for Celeste: to be consistent, reliable, and trustworthy. It meant that once Celeste made you her friend, you could count on her to be committed. However, Celeste was surprised to learn as we worked together that her noble goals were not necessarily appropriate for close friendships in the same way they might be for other types of relationships, such as a marriage or childrearing. Remember, we need to choose our friendships in order to increase our energy and to create mutually uplifting energy with other special people. Once we begin to put strict rules of consistency onto something as alive and spontaneous as a truly good friendship, it becomes an obligation instead of a joy. I discussed with Celeste how her ideals of consistency, reliability and trustworthiness (ie absolute predictability) fit well into goal-directed relationships of responsibility like raising children, doing your job, keeping good credit, or fulfilling an agreed-upon commitment. However, friendships are not goal-directed positions of responsibility and if they go too far in this direction, we all want out. Instead a good friendship is based more on affectionate communion, play, creativity, caring, and support for the purpose of keeping each other's energy high and sustaining a positive outlook on life. We may help each other out at times, but our connection has to be based on enjoying each other's company. No one has to stay with friends or in a community that does not offer these essential gifts of the spirit. Maybe that's a bit cliche, but there are plenty of ways to add depth and meaning into your routine. Challenge yourself to see mundane tasks and responsibilities as opportunities for connection (yes, even small talk). You never know what kind of conversation you might spark. Focus on creating memorable interactions by humanizing your conversations today. Respond to How are you? Answer What do you do?

If you're up for a challenge, make it your mission to ask someone else a meaningful question: What are you passionate about? Why did you choose to do that job? What are you grateful for today? We would then ask them to hold in mind a loving person or life situation, and everyone would go strong; The next phenomenon demonstrated was that the mere image of a substance held in the mind produced the same response as if the substance itself were in physical contact with the body. As an example, we would hold up an apple grown with pesticides and ask the audience to look directly at it while being tested; We would then hold up an organically grown apple, free of contaminants, and as the audience focused on it, they would instantly go strong. Inasmuch as no one in the audience knew which apple was which--nor, for that matter, had any anticipation of the test at all--the reliability of the method was demonstrated to everyone's satisfaction. For reliable results, it should be remembered that people process experience differently: some people primarily adopt a feeling mode, others are more auditory, and still others are more visual. Therefore, test questions should avoid such phrasing as How do you feel? Customarily, if one says, Hold the situation [or person, place, thing, or feeling] in mind, the subjects will instinctively select their own appropriate mode. Occasionally, in an effort, perhaps even unconscious, to disguise their response, subjects will select a mode that is not their customary mode of processing and give a false response. When the tester elicits a paradoxical response, the question should be rephrased. Good friends respect your boundaries, what you can do and what you cannot do. They do not make you feel guilty when you cannot do what they ask. Nor are they miffed if you don't take their advice. True friends see your real self and believe in your potential, and so their guidance is always offered with your growth in mind. They are willing to encourage, praise, and appreciate you, while showing their support for your hopes and ideas. You can be yourself and know that they will not exploit you or run you down behind your back.

They urge you forward rather than holding you back from new things you might want to try39. The best kind of friends and community are also able to provide helpful guidance and wisdom when you need it. They know the real you and therefore can be realistic problem-solving partners. Objective enough to point out where you might be sabotaging your higher goals, they keep you from getting in your own way. Describe your extraordinary interaction(s). What happened when you asked and/or answered ordinary questions in a meaningful way? How did you build connection through this practice? How can transforming small talk transform the way you perceive and interact with others? Vocalize your gratitude You know from previous practices that gratitude is most useful and abundant when shared. This is especially true when it's shared in a meaningful way (eg, verbally instead of texting heart emojis). Not only does this have the power to deepen your relationships, but it also gets you in the transformative practice of identifying and communicating your gratitude. Meet with or call someone you're grateful for today. During your conversation, tell that person you are thankful for them--not just because of what they've done for you but for who they are as a person. For example, a patient who feels guilty about his anger toward his mother may hold in mind a photograph of her and test strong. However, if the tester were to rephrase the question by asking this subject to hold in mind his present attitude toward his mother, the subject would instantly go weak. Other precautions to maintain the accuracy of the test include removing eyeglasses, especially if they have metal frames, and hats (synthetic materials on top of the head make everyone go weak). The testing arm should also be free of jewelry, especially quartz wristwatches. When an anomalous response does occur, further investigation will eventually reveal the cause--the tester, for instance, might be wearing a perfume to which the patient has an adverse reaction, producing false-negative responses. If a tester experiences repeated failures while attempting to elicit an accurate response, the effect of his voice on other subjects should be evaluated;

Another factor to be considered in the face of a paradoxical response is the time frame of the memory or image involved. If a test subject is holding in mind a given person and their relationship, the response will depend on the period the memory or image represents. If he is remembering his relationship with his brother from childhood, he may have a different response than if he is holding in mind an image of the relationship as it is today. Questioning always has to be narrowed down specifically. Supportive communities and good friends are also optimistic. They see the universe as a friendly place and trust that their efforts will pay off. They are not naive Pollyannas, but do believe they can have an effect on making good things come their way. In other words, they do not feel fated or helpless. They see our potential because they believe in their own. They enjoy their successes and don't take hard times personally. They take setbacks in stride without getting too bitter or paranoid, and they believe that their improvement or recovery is within their control. These kinds of people are safe to be around because they don't need to feed off your energy in order to stay afloat. Interestingly, most of my clients, no matter how difficult their childhood circumstances, all remember these special kinds of people in their past. For one woman it was an adored teacher who encouraged her to pursue her dreams of college, an unheard of goal in her family. Feel free to use one or more of the following statements to share your appreciation: I am grateful for your presence in my life. I appreciate who you are. Your friendship has made my life better because _______. I think you're a wonderful person because _______. Who did you call or meet with?

How did that person respond to your gratitude? How did this practice make you feel? What did you learn about your relationships and yourself? Phone a friend One other cause for paradoxical test results is a physical condition of the test subject resulting from stress, or depression of the thymus-gland function, which occurs from encountering a very negative energy field. The thymus gland is the central controller of the body's acupuncture energy system, and when its energy is low, test results are unpredictable. This can be easily remedied in a few seconds by a simple technique discovered by Dr John Diamond, which he called the thymic thump. The thymus gland is located directly behind the top of the breastbone. With clenched fist, pound over this area rhythmically several times while smiling and thinking of someone you love. At each thump, say, Ha-ha-ha. Retesting will now show the resumption of thymic dominance, and normal test results will occur. USE OF THE TESTING PROCEDURE IN THIS STUDY The testing technique just described is that recommended by Dr Diamond in Behavioral Kinesiology. The only variation introduced in our study was the correlation of responses with a logarithmic scale to calibrate the relative power of the energy of different attitudes, thoughts, feelings, situations, and relationships. For another client it was the family of his best friend in childhood, a family that provided an unforgettable model for what a supportive and fun-loving group can do for its members. The memories of these special types of relationships never leave us, because they resonate so deeply with the truest feelings we have. The most important points to remember about desirable friendships and communities are: The purpose of good friendships is to build energy. We can exercise our own free will and say no without jeopardizing our friendships. Friendship roles are not set in stone;