The brainy benefits of music

You can do no less for yourself. Am I Being Dependent? Unfortunately some people really do not like the idea that they need other people to get where they want to go. We may not like the laws of physics when we stub our toe either, but that does not change the field of physics. Keeping this intention in mind will lead your brain to seek out opportunities to help. What did you do to help a stranger today? How did this act share love or brighten their day? How did this practice make you feel? What did it show you about your ability to make an impact on someone and to the world around you? In order to build lasting friendships of value, you've got to be present and engaged during your time together. Building a mindful relationship means putting your phones and other distractions aside, getting to know one another, and being present in each other's company. Remember that commitment you made almost a week ago (day 92) to make yourself available to a friend or loved one? If you haven't already followed through on this, today is your lucky day! Let's do it again. Do you have an example from your own life that illustrates the difference? As you read through the list of Attractions and Aversions, what stands out as an area that applies to you right now? What else speaks to you from this article? Apply the section on Characteristics of Integrous Teachers and Teachings to your own journey. Are there any red flags for a group that you belong(ed) to, or teaching that you follow(ed)? Dr Hawkins says, The primary problem initially is the lack of awareness of the difference between the truly spiritual reality and the astral, paranormal, or supernatural domains.

The paradox is that the appeal is to the naive seeker who has not yet mastered this dimension, much less other fanciful ones. What has been your experience with discerning true spiritual reality from fanciful ones? What are the markers to look for in each? What comes up for you when you read Dr Hawkins's account of the states of Enlightenment, Self-realization, and Infinite Love? If you are fiercely independent, the drawback is that you will never be as big a success on your own as you could be with the right kind of people involved. The sad thing is that many stubbornly independent types got to be that way because they saw their earliest relationships holding them back rather than encouraging them forward. The good thing is that as adults we aren't trapped in that past any longer. We are now free to adjust our thinking. People who value their independence often worry that by asking for help, they are being dependent. If they are dedicated to an stereotyped masculine view of strength, they may even equate getting help with being feminine or weak. However, remember that the true genius mentality comfortably relies upon other people's help and support. For a genius, support for their creative work is crucial and not a reflection of anything else. Ralph, a very wise client of mine, once put it this way, after thinking long and hard about the difference between dependency and support: Dependency is static, by definition it is going nowhere. It means staying in one place for good. Get together with your friend before the day is done. Grab a snack, go for a walk, hit up a yoga class, or share in another healthy activity. Make sure you've dealt with any potential distractions beforehand so that you can commit to a mindful interaction with your friend. You can even request a no-phone zone while you hang out. Reflect on the time you spent with your friend. What made it valuable?

How did you stay present and engaged? What can you do to be more present when spending time with others? Ask for help It can be daunting to ask someone else for help (especially if you're used to being the helper). What encouragement do you draw from his sharing? Dr Hawkins says, It isn't the mind that's an obstruction to Enlightenment; What else speaks to you from this article? Dr Hawkins says, Spiritual work, therefore, is primarily a letting go of the presumably known for the unknown. How does this apply to you right now? Read slowly through the Most Valuable Qualities and Attitudes for the Spiritual Seeker, perhaps taking each one, individually, as a contemplation for a whole day. Is there any particular quality that is hard for you to internalize? Willingness is the keystone to all spiritual progress as well as success in the world, Dr Hawkins says. In 12-step groups, when feeling very resistive, we are encouraged: Well, then, at least you can pray for the willingness to be willing! What is something in your life that awaits your willingness? Support is a synergistic relationship which helps you move forward, and in which when one person changes and grows, the other one does too. Finding these special soul-supporting relationships starts first with the realization of our need for them. Get Yourself to the Border of a Friendly Nation38 Vicky was thirty-two years old and had been divorced for several years when her ex-husband who had initiated the break-up died suddenly in a work-related accident. With two children under the age of ten, she sought out psychotherapy to help her cope with the overwhelming demands of being the single parent in a grief-stricken family. Vicky made excellent progress in therapy and was able to discontinue after several months.

I did not see her again for over a year. When she returned, Vicky was coming back for a different purpose. She had done well enough coping with her sense of loss and her children's grief, but now she was reevaluating her whole life. Coming out of a long period of readjustment that followed her divorce and then her ex-husband's death, Vicky was finding that she had changed so much that her old lifestyle and community no longer fit her. Vulnerability is essential to your wellbeing, as well as that of your relationships. Oftentimes, the hardest part of this process is getting out of your own way (or head) and allowing someone to support you. Vulnerability shows that you're human--and it invites reciprocity, which is key to a balanced relationship. How might you benefit from someone else's guidance, insight, or accountability? Reach out to someone you trust and ask them to listen, offer advice, or support you in another way. Who did you reach out to today and why? How did your vulnerability benefit your relationship with this person? What did you find challenging about being vulnerable and asking for help? How do you benefit from practicing vulnerability and inviting reciprocity in your relationships? Offer your time In the section The Most Valuable Qualities and Attitudes for the Spiritual Seeker, which quality or attitude do you feel most called to cultivate? What else speaks to you from this article? Which core statement among those of the great spiritual teachings and teachers really speaks to you right now? Which one of the Simple Tools of Great Value are you drawn to right now? Endeavor to put it into practice continually, without exception, and share your experience. What else speaks to you from the Conclusion?

Consciousness Calibration HISTORY AND METHODOLOGY The basis of this work is research done over a 20-year period, involving millions of calibrations on thousands of test subjects of all ages and personality types, and from all walks of life. By design, the study is clinical in method and thus has widespread, pragmatic implications. In Vicky's words, I need a new kind of interaction. I've become disassociated from my old crowd and friends. Her ex-husband's death had stirred up powerful questions in Vicky about how she wanted to live her life, and what kind of people she really enjoyed being around. Prior to this major event in her life, except for the divorce she hadn't wanted, Vicky had tended to go with the flow of already established relationships, even when they were frustrating and inhibiting to her emerging sense of individuality. Now she felt a strong urge to find a more compatible group of people to which she could belong. Vicky used the vivid metaphor of imagining such people living happily in another land, separated from her by a wide body of water. I just need to get from here to where they are, Vicky said simply. Vicky was describing the instinct to find her right community, the one that would fit and encourage her true self. However, Vicky needed more than her good instincts to pin down what she was blindly moving toward. She needed to understand what were the characteristics of a really good community. You know by now that you are part of an interconnected network of individuals, and that helping others creates a ripple effect of love throughout this network. An important question to keep asking yourself is, How can I contribute? Your contribution has the power to spread ripples of love, while also giving you a sense of purpose and belonging. Yesterday, you bravely asked for (and hopefully received) support from someone else. Today's practice invites reciprocity as you contribute your most precious resource: time. Look for a specific way to offer your time to a friend, group, or community.