Tuesday 27 October 2020

Let the music play

And reread the story of the man who took a plunge into building dollhouses and selling them. What comes up for you as you reconsider these stories after having read the article? Is there something you love doing but haven't expressed fully? What is a step that you could take toward success in that area of your life? Because it was her very nature to consider the feelings of others, their emotional neglect was a foreign concept to her and thereby fueled her denial. Each of us can create such traps in adulthood. Like Lila, we can try too hard to get along with people, tolerating such things as an inhibiting, joyless marriage or negative, critical friends. There is no need for this once we wake up from denial about the very human, but often very self-involved motives of our loved ones. We do not have to fault them for being human, but neither do we have to go on pretending they know better than we do about what we need. Shooting You Down When people first start out on new paths of their very own, following ambitions that arise from their cores, their families and friends can perceive this as implicit rejection. Resentment and envy can be the instant reaction rather than support and encouragement. Yet these are the people who're supposed to be on your side! Some of the stories I have heard are so staggering as to be unbelievable, but they happen all the time. Choose one person to write to: a parent, partner, friend, mentor, etc In your handwritten letter, thank this person and let them know how much you value their presence in your life. And please remember to actually mail your letter! Who did you write to? What did you thank this person for? How did this exercise make you feel about your relationship with this person? Who else might you write to in the future?

Do something kind Small acts of kindness are done with one intention: love. Kindness spreads love, and love makes everything brighter. Doing something kind for someone else lights up their world while also adding a little sparkle to your own. Which steps have you had success with? Describe your experience, as it gives strength and hope to others. Which steps have you made mistakes in? Describe your experience so others can learn from your mistakes. What is your experience of doing the two success practices? What else speaks to you from this article? The process of recovery is: when we let go of negative energies (below 200 on the Map), our innate happiness, creativity, joy, and love shine forth. What has been your experience with this process? What substance, inner (mental) habit, or outer habit are you currently addicted to? What is a step you can take to free yourself? Just at the moment of take-off, the closest relationships in our lives can start pulling us backwards. It is incredible, but there is something about seeing someone proudly realize a dream that stirs up the urge in some people to find the weak spot, the disappointment, the little piece of it that is not so great. Cathy, a woman who had been determinedly working on her writing skills, finally had a short story published in an amateur writer's competition. When Cathy told her husband, the first words out of his mouth were Are you getting paid? Another person, a man in his thirties, had struggled for over ten years trying to get on with an airline as a pilot, and finally landed a plum job on a cargo carrier airline. His brother's first words were, Oh.

I was hoping you'd get on with a passenger airline so I could get those reduced fares. An artist who had her work accepted for the first time to a juried art show proudly sent her best friend the catalog with her work listed. Her friend never mentioned it. If you have gotten similar reactions from those closest to you, what is this telling you? Remember that you invite into your life what you give to the world around you. Get into the habit of giving and inviting love. Go out of your way today to do something kind for someone you know. Surprise your friend, coworker, or significant other simply because you want that person to have a better day. Let go of any expectation that your kind deed will be reciprocated. Practice kindness with only one intention: to share love. What was your act of kindness today? How did this act share love with another person? How did this practice make you feel? What did it show you about your ability to impact someone else and the world around you? Step 5 in AA--sharing with another person the exact nature of our wrongs--is a turning point. Dr Hawkins says, Sharing it changes the energy field by removing the negative charge from it. The secret no longer has the capacity to corrode and destroy. What is your experience with this? Is there anything right now that you are holding inside of yourself? Are you willing to share it with another person (sponsor, friend, counselor, minister)?

If so, how did it go? Dr Hawkins says, The way out of the pit is to be concerned about someone else. We get higher with every act of love, every loving intention, and our willingness to forgive self and others. How has this been true for you? It's telling you to shake the dust off your feet and go find a new group - one where the people like you and want to see you do well. There's no need to hate the old crowd, but don't put your hopes for support in their hands either. By this point, you have probably proved to your satisfaction whether or not your current relationships or family of origin are capable of helping you fly. If they cannot, it is essential to find those people and communities who can. Nobody Does It Alone Before we go any further, there is a basic human fact that must be accepted. If you are an especially independent type you may not like to hear this, but we all need other people to fulfill our highest potential. You cannot have relationships by yourself, and you cannot have career successes by yourself. In his article on creative geniuses, Howard Gardner37 researched the development of each of these stellar individuals and found that every one of them had emotional and/or financial support, encouragement, and cross-pollination of their ideas with like minds. Not one of them had sprung into genius out of nothing. Help a stranger Kindness and happiness only grow when shared. Taking a small step out of your day to bring joy and offer support to another person could mean the world to them. It might even start a chain reaction! As a human being, you are part of an interwoven network of people who need love and connection. Everyone has something to offer and to learn;

Do something kind for someone you don't know. Pay for their coffee, offer a genuine compliment, or strike up an honest conversation with a stranger. Carry on yesterday's practice of finding a way to spread love without the expectation that your kind deed will be reciprocated. Before you leave your house today, tell yourself that you will do something nice for a stranger. Next time you're in the pits, what happens when you try his method to be kind toward another? What else speaks to you from this article? What came up for you as you read the story introducing Part III--of the man who let go of I can't dance and went to the top of the Map? Where are you stuck and resistant in your life? What is the payoff to staying there? What is the juice that the experiencer is getting out of that positionality, that negativity, that `stuck' place? Notice that as a result of letting go of a single I can't, the man's entire life changed. The momentum from the single surrender removed an endless series of blocks and limitations. Have you ever experienced anything similar, when the letting go of a single barrier released you from many more? According to Dr Hawkins, what is the difference between personal will and spiritual will? They all stood on the shoulders of people who had come before them, and they bent others' ideas into their own new framework, incorporating them as they went. In Freud's lonely work at the beginning of psychoanalysis, his correspondence with his friend, Fleiss, was crucial to Freud for inspiration, feedback, and respect for his radical new ideas. Einstein borrowed heavily from the scientific theories that preceded him and actively engaged with the scientific community as a fellow seeker. Gardner called this necessary pattern of supportive, invigorating relationships - found in the life history of every genius - the Triangle of Creativity. Gardner's research confirmed that each of these exceptional people had not only a commitment to their creative work, but also had at least one important supportive person in their life who believed strongly in their worth and work. In Gardner's view, the necessary elements of creativity must include:1) the creative person, 2) the work, and 3) at least one other supportive person.

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