Thinking from Others' Perspective

I use music to go deeper into my own focus. It helps me tune out outside voices and tap into my own inner reserves of strength. Music gets our hips moving, and it speaks to us emotionally and mentally, too. Activating an emotional and mental response during a workout ensures that all pieces of you are being activated--your physicality, but also your heart and your brain. When a song has touched you, either with its lyrics, beat, or both, you find yourself singing along unconsciously. This is great and a necessary part of your workout time. I encourage you to make workout playlists full of songs that move you. Just do it and observe what forgiveness will do for you in your life. One of the biggest fears we have is the fear of rejection. How many things don't we even try, because we fear rejection? We don't send the offer. We don't talk to the stranger that smiled to us on the train. We don't ask for the business. We don't send our CV. The good news is: You can learn to handle rejection. You have to. Every now and then you're going to be rejected. Sagittarius Mercurys are the Pied Pipers of the zodiac. Everyone can't help but follow you around. You make things sound so colorful and adventurous!

But it's not like you're trying to mislead anyone. Every story you tell or experience you share is meant to inspire. And the more excited people get about what you have to say, the more excited you get about their excitement until pretty soon you have a bonfire of enthusiasm bursting with revelation and wonder. Mercury is in detriment in Sagittarius, which explains your tendency to generalize, rhapsodize, and sermonize. You're not big on specifics or concerned about proof, but you won't let that detract from your message, which is always heartwarming, uplifting, and profound. Sagittarius Mercury/Scorpio Sun: You have a gift for zingers. Find the person who best understands your style and check in with her or him every season to find out what's hot, what's new, and what's best for you. Or befriend a salesperson at your favorite boutique and designate her as your personal shopper. Have a meeting with her at the beginning of each season about what trends will work for you. Ask her to pull merchandise for you and to give you a call when your size arrives. KEEP CURRENT ON FASHION What's the best way to keep up on trends? Choose your medium: magazines, the Internet, television. Fashion magazines for the over-thirty crowd include O, More, Vogue, Elle, In Style, and W. Great fashion Web sites to check out include fashionwiredaily. For fashion TV, see Full Frontal Fashion, the Video Fashion Network, Fashion File, and the Style Network. I don't want to become like them. I don't let their behavior influence me negatively and that's why I am can smile and hum and be happy. Mind of my Own

When I was raised, my dear parents expected and sometimes forced me to do things in a certain way that was accepted as the norm in the small town where I grew up. The traditions were meant to mold me into the same patterns. I had to fit into their thought patterns to be socially acceptable and an appreciated member of the community. As long as I followed their rules, everything was going well. But the moment I started thinking and behaving differently than they expected me to, I was in trouble. They would discipline me to get back onto the same tracks they were on so they could control my behavior. They thought I would be the perfect child if they could instill their habits into me. Both mothers had a photo of a monkey's face on its head, but the body was made of either wire or cloth. Not surprisingly, the baby monkey clung to the cloth mother over the wire mother. But this baby grew up profoundly disturbed, highly anxious, and never able to mix successfully with other monkeys. The second experiment involved eroding the monkey's mother's attention. The researchers gave the mother less food than she was used to, keeping her slightly hungry. This left her always scanning the environment for more food, unable to pay full attention to her new baby monkey like she otherwise would. She was distracted. Without this adequate mothering, her offspring grew up highly anxious, with lifetime elevated levels of stress hormones, even into old age. Now think of what the human equivalents of this might be. A mother, father, or caregiver who is perpetually distracted by a cell phone, texting, playing online games, talking, checking email, etc, is hardly the well-attuned, available presence the baby and child need. You can read in a article that you are not alone, that many people experience these problems, but actually being with others and feeling that camaraderie and support is different. Families Anonymous is another 12-step option that caters especially to parents. What's hard about this .

If you take the evidence-based principles in this article to an Al-Anon meeting, you will probably hear conflicting opinions. They may say that your loved one can't be helped until he hits bottom and that you too have the disease of codependence. These concepts are not a part of evidence-based practices, but since Al-Anon groups have been a source of solace and support for many people, they could be for you. One of the 12-step slogans says Take what you need and leave the rest. This is good advice. As for your loved one, so for you: you may not resonate with the 12-step philosophy. If you don't, there are other options, though not yet as many as we'd wish. No song is off-limits. I use music to speak to any emotion I may be feeling: joy, frustration, sadness, excitement, or loneliness. Luckily there is a song (or 12! My playlists include a wide range of music from hard-core rap, pop, hip-hop, ballads, R & B, bebop, country, and more. Mostly, I look for music that will get my adrenaline pumping. Adrenaline is the hormone that your body produces when you need to perform. It's what drives Beyonce to sing and dance at a top level for 2 hours in a packed stadium. It's what propels an NFL quarterback to give his best throughout a 3-hour game. And it's what will support you as you move through a challenging workout. My current top five workout songs are: It's inevitable. And it's ok. Imagine how boring life would be if you would never be rejected.

The higher your self-esteem, the lower your fear of rejection, and the lower your fear of rejection the better your self-esteem. Be aware that the fear of rejection might only be a movie playing in your mind and above all don't take rejections personally. Rejection has nothing to do with your intrinsic value as a person. The fun thing is if you get rejected, nothing has actually happened. If you ask someone out and he or she doesn't want to go out with you, actually nothing has changed. He or she was not going out with you before, and he/she is not going out with you now. If you want to make a sale and the client doesn't want to buy, nothing has actually happened. They're always on target and your one-liners are often retweeted. But you must watch it with the stinging comments. Although they are great fun in the moment, you can rest assured they'll come back and bite you in the derriere. Sagittarius Mercury/Sagittarius Sun: You never met a high horse you couldn't mount. You'll gladly expound on a variety of moral, political, and philosophical topics. Unfortunately, you're a chronic malapropper--substituting one word for another at the most inopportune times. Thankfully, you've a sense of humor to go along with that self-righteousness. Sagittarius Mercury/Capricorn Sun: You are a born teacher, and your enthusiasm is infectious. Or, be the ultimate fashion insider and get yourself a subscription to Women's Wear Daily or subscribe online. This runway routine is designed to play to the cameras and maximize drama, so the clothes you see are much racier than those that end up in the stores. What people outside the fashion business don't realize is that by showtime, the important buyers have already seen the collection and placed their orders for real-world renditions of the designers' skirts, dresses, and blouses.