Why learning really does take AGES

Constantly irritable, Kainaz suffered from regular colds and frequent bouts of acidity. It can be tough, especially with a supervisor imploring you to finish the call, while the customer is hurling abuses down the phone. UBED SHAIKH, A FIRST YEAR COMMERCE STUDENT AND A CALL CENTRE EXECUTIVE, WHO WORKS NIGHT SHIFTS AND ATTENDS CLASS ES IN THE DAY Atul Ruia is the man behind the famous landmark Phoenix Mills in Mumbai, along with Treasure Island Mall in Indore, and Phoenix United in Lucknow. With 25 malls and 5 five star hotels in the works, he is a very busy man. His work day is always crowded with too many people and too many tasks. When you're eating dinner, pause for a moment before your first bite, and notice the different aromas of the various ingredients, and the colours, shapes and textures of the different foods. Then, as you cut up the food, notice the sounds made by your cutlery and the movements of your hands and arms and shoulders. And as you eat that first mouthful, notice the tastes and textures in your mouth, as if you were a gourmet food critic who has never tasted a meal like this before. If you're hugging someone you love, notice the sensations in your body, and the way you position yourself, and what you do with your arms, and the reactions in the face and body of your loved one. ENGAGING IN ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING As you can see, there are countless `quick and easy' ways for busy people to develop mindfulness. And remember, you can put literally anything `in the spotlight' and practise sustaining your focus on it: from tying your shoelaces to blowing your nose; So invent a few engagement practices of your own: from mindfully stocking the fridge to mindfully walking up the stairs; Remember, every mindful moment makes a difference. The more practice we do, the less we'll wander off into . LENNY: I'd probably be much worse. PAULINE: Are you suggesting that asking for appropriate help when you have an illness like depression is a more competent thing to do than remaining depressed?

LENNY: Yeah . I guess so. PAULINE: Well, you tell me. Let's say we have two depressed people. One seeks treatment, works hard, and overcomes his depression. The other person refuses therapy and continues to have depressive symptoms. Whom do you consider more competent? LENNY: Well, the one who goes for help. For example, if your response to stressful situations is to become depressed or withdrawn, you need to do things that stimulate rather than relax you. The most effective method of stress relief for each individual depends on the person's particular stress pattern. But in general, there are two approaches to relieving a person's stress response, depending on whether the person tends to become overexcited or underexcited: A person who becomes angry or agitated responds to efforts that help calm and soothe, such as those that will slow down the person's breathing and create relaxing sensations. A person who becomes withdrawn, spaced-out, or depressed responds best to stimulating activities, such as strenuous exercise, creating sensations that stimulate and energize the nervous system. Recognizing Stress Improves Relationships No one is always perfectly balanced. Stress is an equal-opportunity hazard, upsetting everyone's equilibrium from time to time. When we walk into a situation tired and irritated, coming face-to-face with an equally stressed-out loved one or colleague, we rarely have the option to take time out for a nap or meditation. Still, our bodies and minds can quite quickly and efficiently bring stress into balance. Running such a huge corporation can't be easy and Atul faces his daily load of stress. Atul works almost two shifts and then there's the added tension of too many overlapping meetings and people coming in late.

No wonder he finds himself seeking comfort in coffee. By the time the managing director gets home after a long work day, `I'm so hyper and so tightly wound up, it's very difficult to relax and enjoy any family time. When I was working on an exercise DVD, it so happened that the last day of the shoot coincided with my birthday. I was having a party and my friends and family had already gathered at the venue. However, the shoot was far from over, I was already exhausted from all the months of work, and I found myself crying between takes to handle the stress. I wanted to give my best to my work and I wanted to be there with my family, my kids, and loved ones too. This dilemma was taking a toll on me. Ekta Kapoor got into television around the time the big boom happened. I could hardly believe my eyes. I was walking through the botanic gardens in Melbourne, but I could have been just about anywhere. A few minutes earlier, I had been surrounded by magnificent trees. Presumably the trees hadn't moved, but now I could not see the slightest trace of them. The smog had obliterated everything. Melbourne is a beautiful city and fortunately it very rarely suffers from smog attacks, but when it happens, it's dramatic. And if you've ever been caught in smog, fog, torrential rain, a blizzard or a dust storm, then you'll know how frustrating it is; Still, at least when we're trapped by the weather, we know it's happening, and we can modify our behaviour as required. But when we get trapped inside our `psychological smog', it's a different story. Psychological smog is what it sounds like: a thick cloud of thoughts which prevents us from seeing clearly or acting effectively. PAULINE: Now how about another situation you've mentioned, volunteering at the homeless shelter? Again, we have two people.

They're not sure how to deal with an aggressive person because they've never had to do it before. One asks the staff what to do. The other doesn't and continues to struggle. Who's the more competent? LENNY: (hesitantly) The one who goes for help? PAULINE: Are you sure? LENNY: (Thinks for a moment. It's not a sign of competence to just struggle if you could get help and do better. To balance stress, however, you must do the following: First realize that you are stressed and recognize your individual stress response. Then learn the methods to quickly and dependably regulate your nervous system, bringing it back into balance. There is a supportive relationship between the ability to recognize stress and becoming emotionally aware. As you become more aware of your emotions and other feelings in your body, you will also become more aware of your stress triggers. Learning to bring down your stress level enables you to be more fully engaged in the array of emotions that contribute to open, honest, and genuine interactions in relationships. Learning to Manage Stress Helps Relationships It is often apparent when stress has a negative effect on our personal and work relationships. But sometimes a person's external presentation (ie, behavior) covers up the internal reality (ie, feelings inside)--even to him- or herself. Suddenly TV channels were demanding content and she stepped in to supply. She went from being a TV-loving couch potato to working twenty-one hours a day.

However, TV life is no nine-to-five medium, and the former couch potato barely found time to relax at all. It turned out that the best time to write scripts was at night, causing her to become severely antisocial. This went on for four years. And after a while, it got to her. My temper tantrums are now legendary,' she recalls. I was always worried about managing my work. FILMS, FRIDAYS, AND FLIPSIDES: KARAN JOHAR TALKS SHOP But it motivates me. And sadly, most of the time, when we are lost in this smog, we don't even realise it. It's only once the smog lifts and we reconnect with the world and start to see clearly that we recognise how lost we really were. Psychological smog takes many forms: worrying, blaming, fantasising, rehashing old rejections and failures, planning escapes, plotting revenge, daydreaming, rehearsing conversations, `analysis paralysis', dwelling on times long gone and predicting the future. And if we're not mindful, we can spend hours wandering fruitlessly through this smog, all the while missing out on our lives. But there's one thing we need to be clear on: The smog is not created by our thoughts. It is fusion with our thoughts that creates the smog. In other words, no matter how negative, unhelpful or painful our thoughts might be, they will not create smog if we are defused from them. But the more we fuse with them, the thicker the smog, and the more we lose contact with the world around us. The only way out of the smog is through engagement and defusion. PAULINE: How much do you believe that? LENNY: Pretty much.