Developing Your Inner Strength

Emotional Hijackings Don't forget that a child's well-developed wishing function puts extra stress on any parent, because a child's wishes and brainstorms make him or her beg for things. In other words, the parent may have to work harder to meet more demands. Parents, in their humanness, reflexively clamp down on their child as soon as his or her wishes begin to make them feel inadequate. But, if you find that you can't practice every day, do it as much as you can. Cultivate attentiveness : Mindfulness is part of meditation, but in your day-to-day life, it is also something you can integrate. Mindfulness only means paying attention, at its most simple. Place yourself at the moment, in other words, rather than let your mind race elsewhere. Take a shower : When you are in the shower, for example, stop yourself from worrying about the day ahead. Focus instead on what the shower sounds like. Feel the heat on your skin from the shower, how the soap feels on your body. Pay attention to your soap or shampoo's good smell. Let yourself feel every sensation, truly. Everywhere, you can practice this technique. Obviously, she was on the level of a master. She had outclassed everyone. How did that happen? By charity? A lot of people in the world are charitable. By do-gooderism?

There are plenty of professional do-gooders. They do not win Nobel Prizes. By her kindness? There are many kind people in the world. The child, in turn, is made to feel bad about wanting more. It is always easier on the parent when the child gradually learns to give up asking for what he or she really wants. How many of us cut back on our biggest wishes just so our parents would not feel they were being asked for more than they could give? But an adult does not have to say `'No! It is often just as effective to make some minor adjustments to the child's wish, just enough to make it no longer fun. This is what happens when the adult appears to meet the child's wishful need, but not really. For instance, a musical boy is made to take piano lessons when he really dreams of an electric guitar. Or a little girl who wants to sculpt in clay is given lessons in watercolor from a convenient artist in her neighborhood. The same thing happens in adult life. We persuade ourselves to take jobs that we do not want because it is kind of like what we are looking for, or we marry a spouse who is like those piano lessons - in the ballpark, but not home base. When you're washing dishes, for example, take a moment to really reflect on what you are doing. Let yourself feel the warmness of water on your skin, the plate's weight in your palms. Put your full concentration on cleaning the plate, making sure it's spotless. Work up your way : For an hour-long meditation every day, you might want to jump in. However, since they haven't meditated before, most individuals can't continue that kind of practice. It's better to start small and to work for longer.

You can get as little as three minutes a day to start with. It is suggested about 10-20 minutes of meditation at a time when you're just starting out. Learning to use meditation for mindfulness Choose a meditating spot . Why did she stand head and shoulders above them all? It was because her alignment, commitment, dedication, and personal sacrifices reached a level that can only be described as devotion. When someone dedicates their life to carrying out the principle of universal truth, that person becomes magnetic. They develop the power of attraction. What they have and what they do are secondary to what they are. It is that quality, which the world acknowledges and brings them, that we term success. What was it that Mother Teresa acknowledged in others and, by so doing, magnificently brought forth for all of us to see in her? When she ministered to the poor and the sick and the dying in the streets of Kolkata, was she trying to save them from death? Was she trying to raise funds for the poor? What she ministered to and acknowledged was the intrinsic truth of human dignity, worth, value, nobility, lovability, and greatness. It is a kind of emotional hijacking. We were on our way someplace, then someone came along and took us in a different direction. Wishes can be spoiled or ruined by other people's doubt, too. It does not take much to cool a wish to below room temperature with questions like Are you sure? These are some of the suggestions and ideas that emotional hijackers love to use. And they do not stop in childhood.

Has your wishing function ever been hijacked by a person who just wanted a cheap ride to his own destination? What Are Your Intentions? In his deep and detailed description of childhood psychological development, Stanley Greenspan26 describes how a person's sense of selfhood develops from childhood wishes and needs in the context of interactions with other people. Primal wishes insist on expression, pushing the child to make her first efforts at communication. You can really meditate anywhere, but it's nice to choose a place that's not distracting, particularly when you start out first. Switch off the TV and go away from distractions. In the corner of your building, you can also set up a little meditation center, with a candle and something you want to concentrate on. Just sit down properly : You can sit down on the floor or in a chair. It is up to you. Make sure you are reasonably relaxed, though. For example, you do not want a lot of pressure on one part of your body. But not so much that it seems like a burden; Just get settled : Spend a couple of minutes just getting yourself into the right state of mind. Focus on, if that helps, the candle. Those qualities are intrinsic in every human being no matter how abysmal their external life situation may seem to be. She owned for them and acknowledged for them that which they had not owned in themselves. Consequently, she acted like a mirror to them. By looking at her, they saw the reflection back of what they had denied--the grandeur of the existence of their own beingness. Even the lowliest of the low deserve the respect of the recognition of the intrinsic dignity of just being a human being. Sharing the human experience is transformative.

Having seen this within themselves, having witnessed it, and having known the truth of it by seeing its reflection in her eyes, they died with a smile on their faces in a state of beatitude. That is true power. STEP 9: SHARING Recognize that the way to be a success is by sharing it with others. Soon the child learns to form an intention, which means that her wish becomes conscious and satisfaction is sought through action or interaction with others. This is the raw beginning of our capacity to imagine those things we want so badly. In our earliest years, we are unrelentingly intentional, but the fate of our ability to remain deliberately, consciously intentional depends on the reactions of others around us. A little too much negativity, and we may stop doing things on purpose. We learn how to lead safer and less intentional lives. We learn to do things we later say we really did not mean to do, and our life begins to seem more and more out of our own hands. I didn't mean it becomes a way of keeping our relationships at all costs. Be intentional about your wishes. You do mean it. Who you really are may be very different from who you have been told to be. You don't have to be fully concentrated; Concentrate on breathing : Try paying attention to only your breathing once you've positioned yourself. Concentrate on getting in and out of it. You don't have to make a move. Rather, just keep your mind on it, concentrate on breathing in and out all of yourself. Return it to your breath while your mind wanders.